Thanks, Scout!!

Scout is the cat. She is definitely a character, and ultimately demands to speak her piece.  Sometimes Scout can be very, very vocal when she thinks it is time for breakfast. [5 AM??]
 Nuh-uh!!
She can make sounds that you would not believe could really come out of that little face. Her routine is pretty standard.  When I make coffee and the dog is using the facilities outside, Scout eats breakfast. Then she gets a drink and saunters to the bedroom where she stretches out for a nap while begrudgingly sharing the bed space with me and the dog.

This morning I was watching a taped show of Brian William's 'Rock Central' .  I made a trip to the bathroom and returned to our shared space, my computer, and the TV show.  But now, somehow, the TV was on a different channel and there was Jack Hannah hosting his show..."Into the Wild". It was a fascinating bunker view of a hundred elephants arriving at their watering hole where they drank, played, and swam in their natural environment. A mother had to help her young one get 'unstuck' and out of the mud.  Many trunks were flinging dust and dirt around as they enjoyed a ''dirt bath'.  I have seen birds and squirrels do that same behavior, but watching the elephants' version significantly  kicked it up a notch.  It was pretty amazing.  I know that I am an addicted 'Nature Lover'.  When the morning shows have an animal segment, or the late night talk shows bring on animals, it is always entertaining as well as informative.  As a kid, Mutual of Omaha's 'Wild Kingdom' was a Sunday night family event before 'Lassie'  and 'The Ed Sullivan Show'.
I would like to publicly acknowledge Scout's unsung capabilities.  I also have to wonder...

How does she do that?  How does she change the channel on the remote?  Does she watch David Copperfield and learn his secrets?  I do know that the next time the TV remote is missing, I will have to "Scout it out" with that four legged Houdini!!  It will probably be in her 'bag of tricks'.

PS.  This is a clip art poster...The last picture is not Scout and I never had a hamster!! I just thought it was funny!!!

Gee Whiz!!

What an unfortunate series of events...
My foot surgery did not resolve itself in a timely manner.
This kept me off of my RA meds.
So then, the rest of my body competed for centerstage attention.
I had to redo the foot surgery and I am once again sporting a less than attractive boot.
My computer quit.  One year old and 10 days out of warranty....really?!!
Long story short, it was overnighted back to me today.
I was able to state my case in a normal tone of voice all the while talking with someone in New Delhi and/or the Phillipines.  I kept asking to speak with their supervisor when I got nowhere on my various calls.

It all made 'status quo' look good.
None of my trials and tribulations were problems.  They were inconveniences.  There are many people dealing with serious issues.  I am thankful that my friends and my health insurance were there for me.
The leaves are starting to show some awesome colors.
There were good times and funny stories...like Flo going to her caregiver's wedding.
Details and pictures to follow.

Try Something New?

Oh..to experience something that causes you to laugh out loud is such fun.  To be able to laugh again at a later time by merely 'reflecting back' on the occasion is a joy.
Quick background:  My mom, Florence, is 100 years old and lives with me.  Four years ago following a stroke that majorly affected her right side, Mom has joined the lefties and is pretty good at maneuvering forks and spoons.  St Nic is a wonderful caregiver [sometimes affectionately referred to as 'What's her Name?"] who helps us in many ways, and breakfast is one of them. Florence has always valued that first meal of the day, and yet she is not among the daring who will try tasting new things.  Here we go:
We are gathered at the table this morning.  Nic and I are at the ends and Flo, in her wheelchair, is rolled up to the other side that is between us. Flo has her 'little bit' of cereal with fruit and had declared that she couldn't eat any more. Nic was finishing her toast and  I had mixed together Greek yogurt, fresh blueberries, and some cereal for a bit of crunch.  It was a lumpy, bumpy, purple undefinable nutritious substance...my breakfast.
Knowing full well what Mom's response would be, I whispered to Nic,
"Watch this."
I scooped out a spoonful of my breakfast delight and headed it in my mom's direction,
"Mom, how 'bout tasting some of this?"
In a heartbeat, she made an indescribable panicked face.  Simultaneously, she straightened and auto-locked her knees as she hit the escape hatch to begin to slide off the wheelchair heading for under the table.
Nic and I had to jump up to thwart Mom's exit drill.  We expected the 'face', but underestimated that sweet- mannered 100 year-old's adrenaline rush.  There was no way she was going to have anything to do with...what the heck was that?
Safety established, we were blessed with hysterical laughter...again...and again. It was extremely funny. 
And there you have it...unscripted and delightful entertainment.
Thanks, Florence. 
You are too funny.

A Casting Call...

This is new to me.  I am now sporting a cast on my right foot. I have quickly gotten used to it and  I can  keep up with the' best of 'em' with my walker that has brakes and a seat in case I am traveling long distances!!  As Gilda Radner said, "It's always something!!"
So, I am taking a poll:  Have you ever had a cast?...where?...for how long?

Oops I Did It Again...

Last  Wednesday I made the conscious decision that I had to get out more and have more of a life.  Mom celebrated her 100th birthday, and we have the perfect caregiver to be with Flo when I am not here. There is no time like the present.
The next day I drove to see my favorite son and we had lunch together and took the Grandpup to the park to play.  Great fun to watch...lots of smiles involved in watching a dog playing with his/her owner.  No one loves you like your dog!  Then we left to have dinner with his significant other and family. The two hour drive home was sweetened by some homemade chocolate chip cookies. 
On Friday I volunteered at the hospital for a couple of hours.  Saturday morning I had breakfast with a kindred spirit who also is caregiver to her 98 year old mom.  We made plans to go to the movies on Sunday at 3:30.
The longest journey begins with a single step.  So does the bathroom nonskid bathmat begin to move with a single step that propelled it across the floor and sent me airborn.
A crashlanding to the floor,  I just couldn't flippin' believe it.  It felt so similar to my fly through the air when I broke my leg two years ago.  Because of that experience, I have been super careful.  Really careful. Really super careful!!
So I am kind of angry.  I'm sitting on the couch with a cast on my right foot and a sore back. Reflecting back about my conscious decision to get out more......I'm now making a conscious decision to read more! And I am grateful that I didn't land on my head!
Count your blessings 'cause the direction you're heading in can change in a second.  And...lesson to be learned...'nonskid' is not set in cement...but my right foot is!!!

FOLLOW UP!

When I purchased my house twenty years ago, I learned about heating with kerosene and how to take care of the 250 gallon oil tank in the backyard.  I signed up for a service contract  each year because it included an annual furnace cleaning, and more importantly to me, they were there 24/7/365 just a phone call away if things went awry! And they had to be friendly and nice as they solved the problem. 
 Radiators warm each room, and I like that.  Truth be told, I am wary of gas.  Maybe in a former life...I was in one of those spontaneous combustion house explosions.  Anyway,  since the price of oil has drastically risen in these past 20 years, I am really, really, really paying attention and here's my story:
In March when 187 gallons were delivered and it was $4.99 a gallon, I immediately wanted to speak with the oil cartel.  Before I placed a phone call to my oil distributor, I called a different one just to ask what price they were charging per gallon.  Ready?  $3.99 which is one dollar cheaper and when you have 187 gallons delivered, that's a difference of $187.
So... I called my company and reminded them that I was a customer for twenty years, and 'holy mackeral' what is with the price of oil these days?
"When you get oil from your distributors, tell me, are they wearing masks?  Because they should be!!"
[Just kidding, I didn't really say that!]
I mentioned that the other company was a whole dollar less, and that is a big difference.  Then I related how I am on a fixed income and taking care of my 99 year old mother...
[Cue the violin music now].  Again, kidding.
The manager agreed to lower the price by $.25 now and in all future deliveries.  I agreed thinking that eventually all $187 would make its way back to me.
Fast forward to this past Monday...
The oil truck was backing down my street [beep, beep, beep] and I remember thinking that at least now we were not at peak oil prices and they had come down a bit.  And then my added $.25, well, it is still crazy!
Imagine my meltdown when the receipt said 187 gallons at $5.24 a gallon.....What???????????
Another quick call to the competition again showed $3.99 as their price.
Okey dokey!  My conversation was pleasant and cordial as I assured Debbie that I had no intention of 'Shooting the messenger' but taking cover might not be a bad idea. 
Two far out things occurred.
First, they had forgotten about the .25 and...are you ready for this?
She said, "I don't know why it said $5.24 because it shows up today the same as the other company.  So I will be happy to adjust your bill."
And the .25 a gallon that we had agreed on???
That was already included as my price had gone from $5.24 to $3.99.
I was totally prepared to switch companies.  I was all done debating the details.
My pleasant phone call resulted in $225.00 coming off of my bill, and I stayed with the company I have been with for twenty years.'
Two morals of the story:
I believe that you really are more effective 'catching more bees with honey'.
Secondly, you have to pay attention to details on bills, sales, etc.  Or you'll pay the price.
So...cue 'The Rocky Movie Theme'......
$225.00  Oh yeah!
Christmas Tree Shoppe...Here I come!!

Yikes!

Quite the series of events happened this week in my little corner of the world!! Nothing life threatening or comparable to real problems...inconveniences that were annoyingly timely. First of all, at the onset of the 95 degree weather...the air conditioning in my car quit. For many people, this would not be a huge problem. I contemplated calling 911 in anticipation of my passing out because I feel the heat more than anyone else that I know. So to answer the question,
"How hot did it get last week?"

Try NOT turning on the air in your car even for just one errand, and you will get a better appreciation.

Today, Saturday, my cable TV box decided to quit. Yes, it is on a weekend, of course! After about 3 attempts of trying to reboot it, along with a new signal sent magically through the air waves by cablevision....a house call is now scheduled to fix the problem.
And my mom who never allowed us as kids to use the "B" word [that would be 'bored'] said,

"Is there anything to do besides sit here and look out the window?"
I immediately thought...Holy mackeral...this could be a long and bumpy night!!

"Are you saying that you are kind of ...bored...Mom?"

"I think so...Yes, I am!"

I was immediately trying to spin a solution to that problem.

I know better than to ask the question, 'What else could happen?'

Because...there was the dog directly in front of me with her huge brown 'laser beam' eyes staring at me and saying,

"I hear thunder in the distance. You know that I will be in altered states before you can say..."
Lord have mercy!!

Well, 'the old and the restless' are now both fast asleep no longer bored and/or scared. What a good idea...I think I will join them....ZZZZZZZ~

Whoa there!!

It is 2:02 AM and I am in awe of all that is occurring simultaneously in my little corner of the world. Here are some of the highlights in random order:

Mom is awake and not quite understanding that it is the 'middle of the night.'

It is raining, thundering, and lightening. One of the two skylights in my bedroom needs a new seal. It has been ordered by the roof man that I called to figure out the problem. In very windy rainy weather, it is a very, very slow drip . So, at the moment, the driving rain has joined us just a 'lil bit' in the dark. The creek which I can hear outside my bedroom window has already joined the grassy area on its sides more than once in the past 2 days.

The dog is inconsolable in thunder and lightening. She paces, and stands as a sentinel at the side of my bed, and stares at me. She has already tried to get inside of my pocketbook which was on the floor. I wish that I could help her, but I cannot fix this problem. She is licking Flo's hand right now.

I am off my arthritis meds, and as a result, there are body parts that are screaming.

A tornado watch was just issued for my county until 2:53 AM...I'm thinking the dog will exhibit even worse behavior. Obviously, I am hoping the actual tornado does not materialize.

It is warm in the bedroom, and I have the 2 windows open, and the ceiling fan on medium. Flo just announced that her head is sweating. Really? To which I reply.

"I totally understand this...Let us remember who is the first one to break out in a sweat....That would be me!!"

If it were 24 hours later, I could be watching the Royal Wedding Hoopla for entertainment. I really don't care about this event, but it would be entertaining at the very least. I am stuck with Judge Pirro. The Good Lord has scheduled $250 leather pocketbooks on QVC and thankfully, there will not be one in my future. Had it been plants and flowers, I would have been in trouble.

Well, the battery on my laptop is running low, and I am not going to plug it in while in the midst of all this drama...I am thinking that the way things are going right now, Lightning would connect Point A to Point Me...

What a re'volt'ing development that would be!!!

48 hours

It all started with a sharp pain in my left side three weeks ago which was diagnosed as diverticulitis. [bad news] Two simultaneous antibiotics for ten days made the sharp pain subside [good news] along with the side effect of bumping me off of my arthritis meds.[ bad news] Ten days later I still wasn't feeling great and my left sided pain seemed to be making an encore. With the weekend in sight, I went to the doctor. Blood work showed an elevated white count along with a fever and a CAT scan was scheduled right then. Two large cups of thick stuff and a scan that was read before I was to leave resulted in the words,

"We want to admit you. The left side showed nothing to be alarmed about but there is an inflammation on the right side of your colon that should be addressed especially due to my immune system's RA history."

Have you ever gone to the doctor and the next thing you know you are in Room 204 A on a clear liquids menu with a window view of the sky?

Lions and tigers and bears...oh my!

The result was an unplanned hospital tour of 48 hours with IV antibiotics and a complimentary [not!!]nightgown that was definitely not particularly flattering to my kiester!

There was some fancy footwork done with the help of friends to plan Flo's weekend [who thought I was visiting my son for the weekend], and I had more than one 'AHA' moment while meeting some pretty unique people.

The good news: I do not have diverticulitis.

The bad news: The jury is still out on what's got the right side of my colon bent out of shape.

There are stories to tell and lessons to share very soon.

Here's just one:

My roommate had a kidney stone and I certainly wouldn't have wanted to trade places with her. I did want to murder her husband when he arrived armed with Wendy's french fries, fried chicken sandwiches, and rich chocolaty Frosties. The aroma wafting through the room was overwhelming. I was on the other side of the curtain sipping chicken broth, hot tea, and deciding to pass on the 'antifreeze blue' jello.

I don't think there is a jury in the continental United States that would have found me guilty of murder. Temporary insanity gained absolute clarity in my mind.

What would your verdict be if you were on the jury? Would I be doing additional time for bad behavior? [the murder, that is].

Other insightful memories will be shared after a couple of nights of the comforts of my own bed and favorite roommates...Flo [Mom] and Gracie [dog extraordinaire]!!

And there you have it.

Ziggy

Breaking News: Mother Nature is the all powerful force capable of trumping all plans. We have witnessed the many, varied, and unusual ways that she has wreaked havoc over time and space.

It reminded me of senior year in high school when the band was going to march in The St Patrick's Day Parade in New York City, and we didn't get to go because of a flippin' freezin' outbreak of 'WEATHER'.

It was probably way back then that I began to identify with Ziggy who 'if he didn't have bad luck, he would have no luck at all'.

Fast forward to today, I was supposed to be in Buffalo at a gala event where my son is co-hosting a laughter -filled evening for a large gathering of people. I have been looking forward to it since Christmas when he asked me if I would like to be his date for the occasion. I lined up all my ducks in reference to making sure that Me Mum's needs were all planned out and I was going to stay overnight. My brother was to be traveling from NJ and fill in for me and along with St Nic, I thought I had it all covered. And then...the biggest storm in the history of our existence blew across the country...and that was that.

I am not a happy camper. I know...I know...I am counting my blessings. I could have been stuck on the Thruway in a 75 car pile up. I had to speak out loud my two criteria for downgrading my disappointment...There are wars going on and people are battling cancer. That can certainly change your perspective on life.

I'm okay. I'm just pretty darn annoyed...ticked...spittin' mad! [well, not really spittin, though].

Besides.... snowstorms, tsunamis, tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, mudslides, lightning, wind, ...

I wouldn't want Mother Nature to kick it up a notch because of my stupid ranting about missing out on some little special occasion that has scarred me forever. Think about it: That parade in NYC was like forty-five years ago.

Damn. I'd like a slight revision in my lack of luck... any time now...

Truth...stranger than fiction!

There are friends who can bring back the laughter of days gone by...funny experiences in the classroom while sharing the joys of teaching. Back in the late 80's, I taught fourth grade for two years and shared the curriculum with fellow teammate, Helen. After convincing her at the end of the first year that as gracious as she was to coach me in Science [see Oct 25, 2009...The March of the Crayfish], it would be better [ both for me and the kids] if I taught two Social Studies classes and she would do two Science classes. The Social Studies Curriculum included local history and how the community progressed from the 1700's while interacting with the Native Americans, and the Revolutionary War Battles that were fought in and around the area. I had ordered a PBS Series that were 15 minute videos of related topics and invited Helen's class to join us. We were seated on opposite sides of the room as the tape shared 'housing-related' and shelter-type issues after clashes with the enemies, especially when their quarters had been set on fire leaving them homeless. Imagine our surprise when it was stated that within the hierarchy of housing, the chicken coop was included...AND ...that since it was considered most favorable, it was often occupied by military higher-ups! Well, Holy Mackerel!! We both knew that we couldn't even look at each other in fear of bursting out in laughter. No disrespect intended...merely surprised at its 'reserved status'.

Helen called me on Sunday to say that she had heard on the TV that a retired teacher had been living in a chicken coop. I promptly responded,

"Are ya kidding? Are you really thinking that I'm going to believe that? "

We laughed, reminisced about the movie, and that was that.

Then days later while watching TV, a commercial began explaining how AARP was begun by a woman who had witnessed a retired teacher living in a chicken coop because that was all that she could afford!! The founder of AARP determined that she must help people to make things better.

Helen had not made it up! It had not been a practical joke which we have been known to orchestrate upon each other. I had to phone her immediately with the words...

"You were right. I was wrong. It'll never happen again!"

I was so surprised that she had been telling a chicken coop truth!

Good thing I didn't bet the ranch.

To coin a phrase...

Grab your favorite beverage, 'cause another family story is about to be told. It is the set of circumstances which resulted in a phrase being 'coined forever' and remains relevant some 40 years later.

A little background ...in as few words as is possible.

My father's death resulted in my mother's journey into some new and different experiences. I was a senior in college and still living at home during this transition as she to adjusted to her new life. Flo was 59 and worked as a secretary. Her 'Gal Pals' were still meeting at each other's homes semi -regularly for dinner and planning their next [yearly]Broadway Show trip. The 'club' eventually began to face the reality of its members passing on, a sad reality, for sure. The unexpected death of one member was to change Mom's life forever.

Two years after my father died, one of Flo's girlfriends , at whose wedding my mom was a bridesmaid, passed quite unexpectedly in May. Her husband, now a widower, was beyond despondent and his two sons convinced him to 'call Florence' and just get together as two friends spending some time together. So Ray finally called and asked Flo if she would consider watching the Miss America Pageant together and she agreed. [In the 70's, that was entertainment.] They had a good time...

Blah, blah, blah...they began unofficially ....going out more often...dating.

Fast forward a couple of months, and a second man [ again someone she had known as a club member's husband] sought out Flo's company. Basically a very shy woman, Flo had her own reservations about accepting this second invitation because I would have to say that she had already formed an impression of him based upon a couple of things...one of them being that he smoked.

"Just go out to dinner and then decide how you feel."

And so she did.

When I returned home and asked her how it went, Flo let loose with some details as to her one and only date that wouldn't soon be forgotten.

"First of all, though he chose a very nice restaurant, he ordered 'cocktails for two' at a pace that was too fast for me. And it was impossible to not compare him to Ray, and there was no comparison! Then he took me home and told me what a great time he/we had, and leaned in to hug and kiss me. And when I took a step back, he had the nerve to say...

'What are you saving it for?'

"Well, I guess not for you!!"

Can you believe that?

That moment has been captured in time, and has lived on some 40+ years. When Mom would receive a beautiful pair of pajamas, for example, she wouldn't want to wear them immediately. She would place them in her bottom drawer of the spare room presumably saving them for a special occasion. We now would chuckle and remind her of the...

'What are you saving it for?'

For her grandchild's wedding, we found a stunning pantsuit outfit that she looked beautiful in and after the wedding, she stowed it away probably awaiting a presidential inauguration or likewise royal event.

"I'm going to save it!"

Well, she certainly set that one up for us. Again, we smiled and reminded her,

"What are you saving it for?"

Believe me, the phrase lends itself to so-o-o many different applications.

My email mailbox was at 72% capacity because I was saving jokes and amazing pictures.

What am I saving them for? It is now at 13% capacity.

The moral of the story is: You never know what tomorrow may bring. Use the good stuff. Put the really soft sheets on the bed. Wear your favorite outfit. Give the next generation what you can whether it be some time or some money or some 'reservations' and enjoy the smiles because you won't get to see them when you are gone.

Are you wondering what happened to Flo?

She had been a bridesmaid in Ray's first wedding, and the bride in his second wedding! They had known each other for a long time, each living separate lives until they were 62 and fate kind of paired them up. They were great for each other and had nine years of good times together. Some very funny stories in those nine years that I will share sometime soon.

What am I saving them for?

You will have to stay tuned to share in the laughter.

Buy 1 Get 1 free...But Wait!!

My last 15 minutes were spent on the telephone with a 'Pasta N More' customer service representative who did speak English but with a heavy '?[I don't know what]?'accent...not that there's anything wrong with that! I knew it from the very second I decided to place the order by calling 1-800-You're a Fool' that somehow it would NOT be exactly as it said in the commercial. And yes,I figured beforehand that 'just pay separate shipping and handling' was going to bite me in the butt.

So...'nuf said...when you hear, "But wait!"

Wait until hell freezes over...

Even if they offer you a super duper bonus...but wait...they'll include land in Florida...and order in the next 15 minutes and you'll receive the keys to Fort Knox...AND included is free airfare to the first 100 callers who can prove that they are either unconscious or 'stupider than stupid!!'...or both! [Yes, I know that grammatically there is no such thing as 'stupider', but I just love the way it sounds.]

Be back before ya even realize that I'm gone...I am having my head examined.

Now, can I interest anyone in a trio of ruby slippers?

[Just pay separate shipping and handling for the spare slipper.]

What'd you say?

Just a couple of 'Flo moments'....

I was getting supper together and I stopped by Mom's chair and asked her,"

"Would you like some potato salad?"

"No, I don't want to take a shower!"

I repeated my question, we both laughed, and she said 'Yes!' [to the potato salad, that is.]

We watch NBC Nightly News because Mom thinks that Brian Williams is 'pretty darn cute.' Last night as he ended the newscast with a 'Good night everyone'...I heard her say,

"Good Night Sweetheart."

Bedtime for all. Nic is on a mini-vacation so I am flying solo taking care of Flo until Monday morning at 9 AM. Wish me luck. I get cabin fever after 48 hours on a normal basis. Is it Monday yet?

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

What a splendid concept! The cat and the dog are calmly enjoying a 'time out' moment together... how fascinating!! This could happen in my house only on the condition that I was sitting in the middle, and each animal would have one ear listening for any hint of movement by the other party.

The cat and the dog are a very unique 'odd couple' for sure.

Each has endearing qualities...and annoying habits, too.

This is Scout:
About fourteen years ago, a good friend called and said that her 5 dogs were barking up a storm and that upon investigation, she found a scared, little kitten in the bushes. Once removed from danger, she was the friendliest little ball of fur, and did I want to come out and see her and maybe bring her home as a companion to my lone cat?

Did I think that I would make a rational decision?

The first couple of hours were spent outside on the porch with a mixture of Dawn dish detergent and water to stash the whole bunch of fleas that I removed off of her body. When I took her to the vet, she said,

"I hope you didn't get this cat to keep the other one company because cats enjoy being alone."

Great...isn't that just great!! The vet was right...the two cats tolerated each other at best.

In reference to Scout [the cat] here's one version of ...the good, the bad, and the ugly:

The Good: As a young cat, she would retrieve the plastic water bottle cap that was flicked away for her to chase, bring it back, and drop it in front of me. While getting ready for school, I would pitch it[ the cap] down the stairs from the second floor. She would retrieve it, drop it back on the floor in the hallway, stretch out and lie down...waiting for me to pick it up again and send her in chase of it again down the stairs. It was pretty amazing! Perhaps she's a dog masquerading as a cat!

The Bad: When she wouldn't come out from behind the couch, I thought something was askew. When she began projectile vomiting, I knew something was wrong. Of course, my vet was on vacation, and so the vet covering her absence agreed to examine Scout. She was kept overnight, and was just not rallying. When xrays were taken, it became clear that there was a blockage that needed to be fixed. The 'substitute' vet said he would have no problem doing the surgery, but he was going off duty at noon, and I would have to pick her up and deliver her to the next 'on call' vet. Scout was not conscious when I placed her box in which she was sandwiched between two heated bags of [IV] solution into the car, and delivered her to the next vet.
Forty eight hours and $300 later, they handed me the ziplock bag with the thread she had eaten along with the plastic thing she had for dessert!!

The Ugly: She rules! When she feels it is time to eat breakfast in the wee small hours of daybreak, she comes to the bedroom door and MEOWS. If ignored, she then begins to scratch the carpet at the doorway. She wins. Then I had a folding louvered door installed at the beginning of the hallway to the bedroom so that she could not get to the bedroom door. That worked for a while, since the louvered door had to be pulled to fold...

Somehow she figured it out and managed to squeeze her head in the far right space of the doorway, and get past it! This is like the never ending battle with squirrels at the birdfeeders!

Now I put the waste basket from the living room in front of the right side of the louvred door so that Scout can't push it with her head. So far, it's 'advantage...human'! [Similar to a tennis call!]

The first thing that happens in the morning is the feeding the four-legged members of the family. Not dry food...

When I place both dishes on the floor, Gracie will sniff hers, and then go stand directly behind the cat. Then, after about twenty-seven seconds...Scout will mosey on over to the dog food and eat some of it while the dog eats the cat food.

I even began feeding them the same food at times: Pedigree Ground meat packets. They both still prefer to eat the other's food!! Do they think they are starving each other, or do they think the other bowl just tastes better?While the cat is a force to be dealt with, there are times that the dog will chase the cat out of the room at hurricane speed, and then smile.

Yes...I swear she smiles! Grace does know that in a stare-down, Scout wins.

So the dog chooses her battles, and knowing that the cat rules, Grace has to keep her in line any way that she can!

It certainly makes life interesting!!! One never knows...do one!

How Do You Spell...Adrenalin?

Unbelievable..

followed by something even more unbelievable.

and then the most unbelievable of all!!!

Are you ready?

To truly appreciate this true story to the fullest, it must be said that my body is not typically flexible [ especially my fingers] due to some major effects of my arthritis. Those who know me will totally understand.
My brother is visiting for the weekend. I kept my regular volunteering schedule because I figured that he and Flo [our mom] could spend some quality time together...and besides, Flo's magnificent caretaker was there to attend to Mom's needs.

I had to stop at the bank on the way home and access the ATM machine.
ATM card in hand, I drove alongside the ATM machine, and began to follow the prompts. PIN number...enter...withdrawal...checking...amount...

Do you want a receipt? Yes...

The audible sound of money cascading into place was followed by 'Please take your cash'.

The little doors popped open, and I reached for the cash.

I pulled on the cash, and out it came...but not all of it. Half of it hadn't cleared the ledge and was sitting there about a quarter of an inch below the opening.

What?? AHHH!! Hey!!!

Now...my hands are not what you would call flat. Imagine the itsy -bitsy spider trying to climb into a very narrow space. The closest I could get was to the corner edge of the cash, and I managed to grasp one $20 out leaving a whole lot more. I opened my car door in an effort to get closer to it as I tried to remove the rest of my cash withdrawal.

SNAP!! The little doors snapped shut ON MY FINGERS THAT WERE STILL IN THERE!!!

Oh ...my...OMG!!

The screen now read: Do you want another transaction?

Well, hell yeah! But first I would like to finish the first one!!!

Thinking that the car behind me was going to get a couple of hundred dollars more than he asked for, [my couple of hundred dollars left sitting on the shelf], it seemed logical to request another transaction to see if the rest of my cash was still there.

Yes...withdrawal...checking...$20...thump.

Those finger slapping little doors opened again to reveal one lonely twenty dollar bill.

At this point, there is smoke firing out of my ears because I couldn't believe it and I had no idea what to do or who to call.

I circled around and drove into the drive- thru lane that had a live person there awaiting her next customer. Two buttons: Service and Call

I pushed the call button, and the teller's calm voice says, "Can I help you?"

So I began my tale of woe about the ATM machine swallowing up half of my cash withdrawal and then clamping down on my finger.

"What can I do?"

And here is the 'even more unbelievable thing':

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. But we have nothing to do with the ATM machine at all. You will have to call the 1-800 number on the back of your card and explain it to them."

"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously!!!

"Yes I am."

Now I circled back into the parking lot, yanked my cell phone out of my pocket, and punched in the 1-800 number on the back.

Not only is there an automatic voice selection of 'Press one for this' and 'press two' for that, but everything...and I mean every single word ...was in Spanish!!

Thinking that I will get to press something for English, and after about six sentences that I did not have a clue about, I looked on the back of the card. In my hysterical state, I had dialed the Spanish help line. That was not progress. The only thing I know in Spanish is: Donde el banyo? This translates to: Where is the bathroom?

There was a different 1-800 # for English. I started all over again only to have to endure a voice tell me:

"Okay. Let me ask a few questions to help forward your call. Are you calling about a paper transaction, press one or you may speak the words 'paper transaction'. Summoning all of my self control to suppress what I really wanted to say, I pushed a 4 and answered the prompt:

"In a few words, what is your call in reference to?"

"The ATM machine ate half of my withdrawal!!!"

"One moment please while I connect you to a customer service representative."

"This is Bryan. Can I please have your social security or account number, your name, address, birth date, and favorite flavor of ice cream [kidding about the ice cream!}? Okay, how can I help you?"

I went through the whole saga again thinking to myself that there was no way in hell that this was going to be resolved by Bryan.

And here is the most unbelievable part:

First, Bryan apologized for the machine malfunction, as well as the injury that it had inflicted on my finger. [Badddd machine!] Then he said that most likely the machine would....self-correct...at the end of the day...and it would credit my account with the amount that it had in excess.

I ask, "How on earth does the ATM machine know whose account should be credited and adjusted to the actual amount really received?"

"Technology. Amazing isn't it? Tomorrow morning, call the bank to make sure that your account has been adjusted and if it has not, call us back and we will take care of it. "

Now, I know that I am not in Kansas anymore!!

Can you believe it? I am speechless and stuttering!

If this whole situation [that would be my very last and final ATM experience] isn't resolved, and the ATM machine's video of my encounter as it snapped shut on my finger while swallowing more than half of my withdrawal...appears on 'You Tube', you will understand what really happened. And would you please contribute to the fund to bail me out of jail after I let that ATM machine know how I really feel about being treated like that...such an injustice!

I'll keep you posted...in case my bail needs to be posted!!