Little 'Rituals'

When I was a kid, we occasionally got on The Garden State Parkway to go south to the Jersey Shore.  My Aunt Marie lived there before it became popular, and my Great Aunt Emma owned a house one block from the ocean.  As we travelled on the Parkway, we would go through a tunnel-like part of the road.  My father always 'beeped the horn' so that we could hear it echo. If he forgot, we would remind him.  To this day, more than 50 years later, whenever I go through that tunnel, the horn must echo for old time sake.  It is just a ritual.

This morning I visited a fellow retired teacher who lives very close to the school where we taught.  As I drove along the familiar path, I came to the farm on the corner where I would make a right turn. Twenty years ago, my good buddy Emily would be standing under the tree waiting for the school bus.  I would beep the horn, wave, and then see her in 5th grade 45 minutes later. I cannot drive by her house without beeping my horn...just because.  So, this morning as I passed her house, I honked the horn even though all four kids are grown and out of the family farm homestead.  Emily is now a nurse...and that is  wonderful!  Where does the time go?
So, do you have any little rituals that you continue to carry on...Share with us!

Such a great kid!

I spent a couple of days with my son and his family, and it was great! Hugs, kisses and a delicious lasagna dinner greeted me.  The next day,  the unofficial "Take Your Mom To Work Day" began where I was delighted to watch the radio hosting process up close and personal.  Made my heart smile to see my son as a professional media man who was living his dream job with such confidence  at the top!!  And no, that is not a biased Mama Bear statement.
In the evening, I was able to be the audience for a round table sports TV talk show that was taped for Time Warner Cable.  There was no script or prompting, and again, I wondered ,"How does he know all of that current and ever changing info off the top of his head?"  And add humor to it, too.
We then went to see the hockey game of the year...No, not the NHL game on the TV and radio.  It was the 12 year old kids' playoff game where we were rooting for #4 and his team to win and they did!  Wahoo!!
What was the best part?
The thoughtfulness and caring shown to me all the time by everyone.  My arthritis caused me to be kind of slow-moving and it was never the issue [for them].  As I heard the recurring words,
"This is my mom!"
there was also the resounding internal joy of,
"This is my sun!!"
[ I know how to spell...My son is my sun!]

Oops I Did It Again...

Last  Wednesday I made the conscious decision that I had to get out more and have more of a life.  Mom celebrated her 100th birthday, and we have the perfect caregiver to be with Flo when I am not here. There is no time like the present.
The next day I drove to see my favorite son and we had lunch together and took the Grandpup to the park to play.  Great fun to watch...lots of smiles involved in watching a dog playing with his/her owner.  No one loves you like your dog!  Then we left to have dinner with his significant other and family. The two hour drive home was sweetened by some homemade chocolate chip cookies. 
On Friday I volunteered at the hospital for a couple of hours.  Saturday morning I had breakfast with a kindred spirit who also is caregiver to her 98 year old mom.  We made plans to go to the movies on Sunday at 3:30.
The longest journey begins with a single step.  So does the bathroom nonskid bathmat begin to move with a single step that propelled it across the floor and sent me airborn.
A crashlanding to the floor,  I just couldn't flippin' believe it.  It felt so similar to my fly through the air when I broke my leg two years ago.  Because of that experience, I have been super careful.  Really careful. Really super careful!!
So I am kind of angry.  I'm sitting on the couch with a cast on my right foot and a sore back. Reflecting back about my conscious decision to get out more......I'm now making a conscious decision to read more! And I am grateful that I didn't land on my head!
Count your blessings 'cause the direction you're heading in can change in a second.  And...lesson to be learned...'nonskid' is not set in cement...but my right foot is!!!

What sign are you?

I was born on my parents' 8th wedding anniversary...third child...following my two brothers ... 11:02 AM on a Tuesday morning. Birth order: the baby of the family...later to be established as the 'lefty' of the family.
I used to call my mom on the phone at 11:02 every year and sing 'Happy Birthday' to her since she birthed me and she was happy about it.
I'll be singing at 11:02 tomorrow just because...that's my thing.
Twenty-nine years later, my son was born three days before my birthday. So really I was three days shy of thirty!! I remember it well.
Where does the time go?
Even though the years add up..somehow we do not feel the age we are. At least...I don't.
If I were to pick one defining characteristic that defines me, it would be my ability/compulsion to burst into song depending on whatever 'word' has been spoken. There was no surplus of money in our house and Catholic school had no music in their program. I often tell Mom that if she had cultivated my musical talents, we'd be living in a house on some beautiful body of water!!
What would be your signature defining trait? Don't think too long...it should pop right into your mind.

Aww...how nice!!

Each day is a new day. There is generally a good amount of predictability along with an occasional unexpected event or impromptu conversation. Now enter into the equation...Mom.
She is 99 and has two settings: awake or asleep. On 'OFF' days, she nods off many times and sleeps most of the day as well as night. However, I know when she awakens at 6AM that it is 'wide-eyed Flo' in the 'ON' state. Synapses are firing and it usually is very entertaining to say the least. Truths surface from the recesses of her mind with great clarity. My brother phones 'The Queen Mum' two or three times a day...that's the way it has always been, is now, and forever shall be...world without end....Amen.

Today, at 8 AM, I pushed the telephone digits to call his his office [which opens at 9], handed the phone to Flo, and she surprised him with the first call.

"Good morning, Sweet Angel!"

And you can bet money on her saying, "Always good to talk with you!" and that's how you know that the conversation is over. Today she asked him,

"How is Tommy doing?"

Tommy is my nephew...handsome, debonair, smart, kind, and funny. He has a wonderful sense of humor and he is rock solid in that if you need help, you can count on him. In a word...'a GEM'.

He also is not the luckiest guy on the planet in terms of life and events that have happened to him. He's had some bumps in the road as well as a meteor or two explode in his orbit. [ I can relate to this...I think I got that genetic marker, too.]

Mom has asked about his well being quite regularly.

"Tommy's good, Mom. He is here now getting some work done before the office opens."

And then she said,

"I've always had a soft spot for him. I just think he's wonderful."

It was beautiful. Unscripted and from the heart...and so real.

Whew! Bulls eye. Priceless!

The Happy Couple

Here they are! The birther and the birthee!

O Happy Day! It was April 10, 19** when Florence gave birth to her first child [and my brother] Paul.

He was here for the weekend to share their day together, as they have 'known each other' longer than anyone else on the planet. Communication has always been a priority with Mom and her kids. When Paul was in the Air Force, he served three years in Texas and one year in Greenland. Flo was an executive secretary and often sent either a typed or handwritten note probably four times a week as a habit. They talk by phone a couple of times a day sharing news, jokes, and rare moments in time. Mom listens attentively and has given cause for some hearty laughter...like the time she said to him...

"I don't know what it is that you were talking about, but it was good!!!"

He is now 'on the road again' driving the five hour return trip. A devoted son and friend, they have a bond like no other. So, Happy BIRTHday...to Flo and Paul. Wahoo for you!!

Day 3...waiting to exhale...

My day started at 5 AM when I heard strange sleeping sounds coming from Flo. Thinking that maybe she was having a bad dream, I went to her bedside to try to wake her up. Well, she must have been in one of her 'spells' and I have learned over time that it is less stressful for her if she awakens on her own. It is counterproductive to get loud calling her name. I know this. So I turned on the TV, and news was breaking about the earthquake in Japan with tsunami discussions happening as to when and where. Good Lord...I thought about my cyber friends in Hawaii as well as those on the west coast of the mainland. Exhale...ohmmm.~!

I volunteered at the hospital from 11 to 1:30, and when I got home, Nic said that Flo had another occurrence...another spell? And in the afternoon...a third time when I couldn't bring her into the real world. Kind of scary, yet it has happened before. [2 trips to the ER in the past]

Then, I asked her if she wanted a drink. She said yes, and she had a healthy amount of cranberry juice followed by a small dish of beef goulash and rice pudding topped with an Oreo cookie. I'm thinking...okay Flo! She went to bed at 7 PM. Exhale...ohmmm.

Then I watched Syracuse Univ play UConn at Madison Square Garden in the Big East Tournament at 7 PM. It ended in a tie, and here we go again...overtime! Two years ago, these very same two teams played a game that lasted 3 hours for 6....that is 'SIX' overtimes and SU finally won at 1:30 in the morning. Tonight UConn won this time after only one overtime.. What a game, and I knew my son was in the crowd, and my brother in NJ and I were texting back and forth, and Facebook friends were commenting as the game went on. Whew! Waiting to exhale...ohmmmm!

I am pooped. I will check on Mom, and then I am hopping into bed.

Waiting to exhale. Ohmmmm.

Night-All!

ZZ''ZZZ'Z'Z'Z'Z'Z'Z

Day 1...Changes

My goal is to post daily for 40 days with the hope that something will be helpful in someway to somebody. Subtitle: Procrastination on hold!!

Day 1: Changes

My Jersey high school friend of 45 years [we must have been womb-mates 'cause I don't think I am even that old] is signing the paperwork for the 'closing on the sale of her house'. Since she has lived there for 25 years, looking back at all of the changes that have occurred in that quarter-century...yowser! Even though I moved to NY, thankfully our bond has always remained tight.

It is a blessing that we do not know what is in our future because we might not believe some of the scenarios that present themselves. We would shudder at the inequality/fairness of life relative to our place in the universe. Some actions are planned by us, and some are a kind of fate or destiny.

We change...whether we want to or not. We forge our way on through happy, sad, confident, scared, doubting, sick and tired..

When in the process of a divorce, my response to 'How are you doing?... was :

"I'm reeling, Lord, but I'm still standing."

Now as I years have gone by, my answer to the same question is..."Been better, been worse."

Janet leaves a home that she and her sister bought together and changed all kings of things within, collected memorabilia. and planted things, sheltered dogs and cats, and raised their niece with them from the age of 3 until college years. Being one of nine children, there were many family gatherings and holiday parties at this big house. But that great big house in NJ was costly in taxes and maintenance...too much for one person alone. Her beautiful souled sister passed through to a higher place at the age of 52. It was heartbreaking.

And so things will change again. Different opportunities, new possibilities, change in location, new beginning to this part of her life....and hence...to mine. Because she is among the places in my heart that are 'home' for me. Similar to why I bought a water dish for Gracie[my dog] that says, "Home is where your dog is!"

Home is a state of mind...

Ziggy

Breaking News: Mother Nature is the all powerful force capable of trumping all plans. We have witnessed the many, varied, and unusual ways that she has wreaked havoc over time and space.

It reminded me of senior year in high school when the band was going to march in The St Patrick's Day Parade in New York City, and we didn't get to go because of a flippin' freezin' outbreak of 'WEATHER'.

It was probably way back then that I began to identify with Ziggy who 'if he didn't have bad luck, he would have no luck at all'.

Fast forward to today, I was supposed to be in Buffalo at a gala event where my son is co-hosting a laughter -filled evening for a large gathering of people. I have been looking forward to it since Christmas when he asked me if I would like to be his date for the occasion. I lined up all my ducks in reference to making sure that Me Mum's needs were all planned out and I was going to stay overnight. My brother was to be traveling from NJ and fill in for me and along with St Nic, I thought I had it all covered. And then...the biggest storm in the history of our existence blew across the country...and that was that.

I am not a happy camper. I know...I know...I am counting my blessings. I could have been stuck on the Thruway in a 75 car pile up. I had to speak out loud my two criteria for downgrading my disappointment...There are wars going on and people are battling cancer. That can certainly change your perspective on life.

I'm okay. I'm just pretty darn annoyed...ticked...spittin' mad! [well, not really spittin, though].

Besides.... snowstorms, tsunamis, tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, mudslides, lightning, wind, ...

I wouldn't want Mother Nature to kick it up a notch because of my stupid ranting about missing out on some little special occasion that has scarred me forever. Think about it: That parade in NYC was like forty-five years ago.

Damn. I'd like a slight revision in my lack of luck... any time now...

Steel Magnolias Pt 2

It was karma. Unscripted, unedited, and utterly therapeutic. This morning's entertainment was a one of a kind , truly unique experience that most likely occurred because the planets lined up in some far out way. My hairdresser of 35+ years has also been my mom's 'wizard of choice' from the time that she began to visit me from out of state. It was often a source of amusement that her 300 mile trip to NY was for a perm...and, oh yeah..a visit to her daughter.

A surprise phone call offered up a hair appointment cancellation to give Flo her perm on Saturday at 10:45. The good people who bump her wheelchair up the 9 stairs to the second floor could be there...and St Nic was available to help transfer Mom from wheelchair to shampoo chair ..life was good. The weather was very cooperative. Also, I knew that my good friend [of 30 years] Cathy had an appointment for a color at 11:00. Things come in threes: Then the 10:00 appointment cancelled, and I was able to take it instead of my next Thursday time! We were the only people in the shop. The owner of the business had come to America from Italy aboard the AndreaDoria Ship when she was sixteen years old. She has worked since then, and owns the scissors [as well as the shop] that coifs the hair of many, many faithful customers.

She started with Flo, and while the perm was underway, she started my color. Then Cathy got there, and we were a rotation of three customers playing 'musical chairs' and laughing as the entertainment came from reminiscing about stories of longtime friends.

When the radio played the song, 'Let There Be Peace On Earth', I shared the story about making a tape of Mom's favorite songs. While taping this song, Cathy played the flute, and it was beautiful. I decided to add a personal touch and sang the words in the second verse. When the next to last line rose to a note that was out of my range, and I went for it anyway....and everything stopped except for the hysterical laughter that followed which remains indescribable.

The topic changed to Christmas trees, and the #1 story immediately surfaced. Cathy and I taught together, and as life played out, I became a single mom of one boy and she of her three boys. The kids were 10, 9, 6, and 3 and they all became brothers, friends, and family. We piled into the van in the pursuit of cutting down a Christmas tree while putting forth our best festive effort. As we entered the tree farm, on the very perimeter of the acres of trees, the three year old immediately embraced the first tree which can best be described as 'The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree'. It had about three branches and was the same height as this excited little three year old. This was the tree!! He cried and threw himself on the ground when the boys suggested that we continue to look at other trees. A favorable plan was hatched which allowed us to continue. It was a priceless moment that is told as often as The Charlie Brown Story.

Two hours flew by as our hair got shorter and our laugh lines got longer. It was the definition of a good time. Relaxing and fun.

You couldn't plan something like that as it was many years in the making.

We had all came from different places with an age span that ranged from age 27 to 99 years old. It was great!

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Technology has certainly come screeching into society in a very big way! Confident people immediately embraced it, children were taught computer skills in school, and those resistant to change refused to acknowledge it was here to stay. A select group was brought along kicking and screaming. In that last category and taking one step at a time...is my brother who has now officially yelled out , "UNCLE!!!"

About fifteen years ago, I remember him patronizing my 'Let me show you how easy 'emailing' can be with a positive attitude'... watching him type an email...against his will...

"I don't know exactly why I have to type this message because telephones are a terrific way to communicate. But, here it goes."

Now he emails, texts messages on his cell phone, and ....are ya ready for this???

Yikes!!! HE SKYPES!!!
My computer has had a dormant skype camera covered by a bandaid because I really had no use for it. And then my niece [his youngest child] went to Ireland for the first semester of college, and suddenly he had a new laptop with skype, learned how to use it, and began bugging the Bejesus out of me to : Get with the program!!
This was turnabout fair play!!!

As he was enroute this past Labor Day weekend to my house to visit Mom, I downloaded skype and removed the bandaid...Ouch!! Then when he began his promo, I said,

"Already done and ready to go!!"

I think I may have detected a mental 'victory dance' as he smiled, "Really!!??"

The kinks have been ironed out, [translation: I eventually located the button that turned my side of the camera on.] And let me add that the skype camera is not necessarily the most flattering portrayal of my face and chin...[ I see chins...]
Then I put the computer on Flo's lap, and her eyes got huge, and she had the 'deer in the headlights look'. She didn't know what to make of it, or what to do. This morning when I was at MOW [Meals on Wheels], Tessie said it best with,

"Think about the changes that she has seen in her 98 years. It must be unbelievable to her!!"

Fast forward to today:

Mom woke up at 6:30 wide-eyed, talkative, and in altered states.

She had no fear or hesitation as she skyped with my brother, and then chatted with the smiling, familiar faces in his office, too. She has known them for 25 years and hasn't seen them since she moved to NY three years ago. Things began churning in 'the windmills of my mind'.

"Hey! How about rounding up the biddies for a skype with Flo? They could drive to your office and we can reconnect a whole bunch of smiles!!"

Oh boy...The barn door was open.

I have learned to be careful what you wish for a couple of times.

I have always wanted to live by the water. When I bought my house, I was happy about the football-sized play area [for my son and his friends] across the creek. The creek! I do live by the water.

Then I was wishing for a companion of sorts when my son went off to college and I was suddenly feeling the quiet of living alone.

And an amazing rescue dog showed up needing a new home. Gracie!!

And I thought to myself...Perhaps I need to be clearer about what I wish for, 'cause I kind of meant someone to hold a conversation with and share laughs and stuff...

Presto!! My mother moved in with me!!

I rest my case. Be very, very careful in what you wish for...I know that I am!

And I'll bet that's what my brother is thinking as he is shaking his head and setting up Flo's skype schedule.

Do you think he is wishing that the bandaid was still there??

Nah!!!

Shephard's Pie To Go, Please!!

Abe Lincoln said, "You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.

When family visit from NJ, it is generally their desire to take Flo out to a restaurant to eat. And it is Flo's desire to be spared the drama involved because she is in a wheelchair and needs help to accomplish basic tasks. Perspective is everything.

So, this past weekend, Mom politely declined the offer to eat out. She stayed at home in sheer comfort and Nic came over while I went to dine out with the family. We were seated, ordered, and were enjoying the soup/salad part of the meal . I had selected Shephard's Pie when...all of a sudden....a very familiar sound pierced the air and altered the course of the dinner. It was the dreaded fire alarm, and for more than 30 years it was 'second nature' for me to jump up, grab the attendance cards[??], and immediately lead the students to evacuate the building. Now, here at the Holiday Inn, everyone kind of looked up momentarily, and then promptly resumed eating their dinner.

What? Doesn't the fire alarm mean...get up and go?

And then the waitress came around to all of the tables saying,

"We do have to evacuate the building. The fire trucks are on the way. Really!!!! And then we were all sheparded out the front door. There were sirens, flashing lights, the hook and ladder truck and assorted other emergency vehicles, and immediately a whole bunch of cell phones/cameras surfaced to document it all.

Okay...I joined in...took out my cell phone and called Flo.

"Hey! Good thing you didn't come out to dinner with us because we are all standing around outside watching the firemen enter the building while we take pictures of their equipment!! You would have been stressed right out! Whew! The Lord works in mysterious ways!"

As I ended the phone conversation, a waitress looked at me, smiled, and said, "Hi Mrs. W".

I hadn't seen this former 5th grade student in many years. She has graduated from college and is going on to get her Master's Degree. We had a great reunion and she did share that fire alarms were relatively common.

"Quite often, we never find out what the problem was...and then we return to the restaurant and carry on."

It reminded me of August 2006 in Niagara Falls. At 3:30 AM, the hotel fire alarm woke us up [Flo included]. We were on the 14th floor, and here is how the desk clerk answered my brother's questions:

"Is that a real fire alarm?"

"Yes it is."

"What should we do?"

"Run!!"

I kid you not. After that experience, I wouldn't book a hotel reservation above the second floor.

I never thought about a restaurant, though.

Thankfully, the restaurant was on the first floor and there were not a thousand stairs to navigate due to elevators not in service because of the fire alarm rules.

It was such a 'moment in time' that the kids asked the firemen for their autographs.

I think it was a 'first' for everyone involved!!!

Surprise!!

On Thursday, I was reading my Facebook friends' status statements and realized that my niece and her family were en route to visit Flo and me for the weekend....surprise!!! I called her on her cell phone and 'yep!yep!... they had done four of the five hours and were one hour away. They stayed at The Holiday Inn so that the kids could swim in the pool , along with the fact that for some...allergies [to my cat] were an issue.

I said nothing to Flo.

Out of the blue [something that Mom has become quite famous for], she said,

"You know what I would really like to have sometime?"

"No, Mom, what would that be?"

"A Hershey Bar!!"

"Really!!! With or without nuts?"

"With nuts!!"

"That's the first time that I have ever heard you request a Hershey Bar!!!"

Into the kitchen went I, and called my niece,Katie, and relayed G'ma's request. I just could not pass up the opportunity to heighten the surprise that I knew was soon to happen.

Flo's face was priceless when Katie walked in, kissed her, and said:

"Hi G'ma! I heard that you were wishing you had a Hershey Bar with nuts, and so here I am to deliver it to ya!"

"Oh my God!! How did you know that? And ...I haven't seen you in years!"

"It hasn't been years!!! A year and a half. I came up here when Aunt Mare broke her leg."

Hugs and kisses.

And then a joyously 'sweet' reunion began for the three of us. Three different generations. Ages: 98[and a half!!]...61[Huh? This must be a miscalculation.]...42[I remember where I was when I heard the news of her arrival!!]...Kindred spirits.
Lots of laughter. A good time.

Additional weekend adventures in the next post. Wahoo!!

It's A.....Party!!!

Over the weekend, my son was invited to a couple's "It's a ...Party" celebrating the announcement of...'it's a boy' or 'it's a girl'. The sonogram had produced an answer to...'What's it gonna be?'
Party goers were supposed to wear something pink or blue depending on what their guess was for the newborn star who will be joining the planet in February. What a great idea, and a joyous occasion!
I think there are two unwavering groups of expectant parents: those who definitely want to know, and those who are determined to be surprised.
Sometimes one parent to be wants to know, and the other one doesn't. I can't imagine I could keep a secret from my spouse because of my well defined 'poker face'...NOT! My face says it all. I am not a good liar.
Thirty years ago, the option wasn't there to find out. I'm thinking that I didn't have even one sonogram in all nine months. I do remember the first time I could hear Jer's heartbeat at an appointment. And when he was born, I can see his face, too, as he was placed beside me!
I wanted to call my mom in NJ at 5:30AM to tell her, and the hospital people thought I should wait. What?? Huh?
Well, anyway...if I had the choice of finding out ahead of time, my guess is that I would want to be surprised. In the celebrating and toasting at the party over the weekend, the announcement was made:
Inquiring minds want to know!!
Would you want to know?

Field of Hopes and Dreams

In honor of Memorial Day and all that it represents, a local parochial school sponsored the "Field of Hopes and Dreams" at a local public park. There were 1200 flags in perfect lines each with a tag that stated, 'This Flag is Dedicated to..." with the name supplied by people who purchased them in memory of deceased veterans as well as in honor of living veterans. I purchased three flags: one in memory of my brother Tommy [Navy] which will be waving at my house, one in honor of my brother Paul [Air Force] which he will have at his house, and the third flag will fly at my son's house in memory of his father[ Army].There was a very moving ceremony at 7 PM on Saturday with a color guard, speaker or two, a band, and taps. After the Memorial Day weeekend is over, you return to the park and take your flag[s] home to fly as a 'forever ' prayer for your loved ones.

What a meaningful way to celebrate the essence of the day! You were able to honor your personal veterans while taking the time to recognize the true meaning of this national holiday. The community hosted a ceremony, the school benefitted from the sale of the flags [as it was a fund raiser], and there are 1200 more flags flying in honor of 'the red, white, and blue.' Wahoo!

Our testament happened as a result of a woman who while driving through Waterloo, NY [the official birthplace of Memorial Day] came upon "A Field of Hopes and Dreams" and was in awe of its powerful statement. She spearheaded the project and headed a committee to make it happen locally, and one year later, the dream became a reality. What an example of 'If you see something great, make it happen again so that more people can become involved.' This event touched the lives of many people, and was so successful that I have heard rumors of it happening again next year. There were many people who wished that they had known about it so that they could purchase and honor their relatives and friends in the military [past or present]. I hope that it becomes a reality for next year, too.

And there you have it! The ball is in your court. Perhaps your town, or city would be receptive to this awesome ceremonial testament to our veterans...

And let us not forget that there is also Veteran's Day in November.

Thank you to all of the people who got involved and made this happen both locally and on a personal yet public level.

Thank you to the many veterans, and their families whose lives are forever touched by service on behalf of our country.

Motherdom!!!

Happy Motherdom Day to all...and being somewhat non-traditional at times, so are my thoughts about this title!

My mom, Flo, is the epitome of steadfast and unwavering love for her children...Paul and I are her biggest fans here on earth, and my brother Tommy is preparing the party of angels in the heavens for that time when their reunion will bring both lives full circle.

Mothers have very diverse personnas, and it is fate...chance...karma...you could call it destiny that places the mother/child duo together as a pair. That cannot be changed: such is life. Some mothers come by it naturally; some don't get it. Life is a learning experience, regardless of the mood of the lesson. Yet the role can be assumed in other ways by ' creating close ties' that inherently reflect 'mothering'.

Certainly adoptive mothers gain rights to 'Motherdom' [a relative of 'kingdom']. I know many people who have adopted children from within a family or from a different country. Some have done the legal paperwork; some have taken on motherdom because there was a child's needs which became front and center.

Foster mothers step up to help fill a void for children. Often a lifeline to a kid in crisis or family home in crisis, foster moms help troubled kids 'hold their ground'. Not an easy role due to the fact that often the kids come accompanied by a lot of baggage.
There are people who get drafted to the team. Mine is the mother on my 'sister by choice' [Janet]. I am child #10 in their family for 40+ years.

Teachers, especially elementary teachers, assume the daytime shift in guiding and nurturing 'our kids' as well as teaching the state's objectives and agenda. When you reflect on the fact that teachers spend more time within the child's waking hours than their parents, suddenly the power of this job is evident. Something that I took seriously, for sure.

Proxy Moms can be aunts, neighbors, day care providers, coaches, and/or angels who assume a caring nature with the little people who are in their charge. Adults, too, respond to a caring attitude as it reaches to the inner child in all of us. And while caring for Flo who is in her 90's, I see similarities in the sunset of life that are kindred to the earlier years.

Select secretaries can be the glue of the workplace solving various issues for many people in all kinds of scenarios. Our 'firing squad discreet' trustworthy school secretary was priceless and her 'motherdom' reached the employees, the children, the parents, and the general public...even the 'fixer' of the copying machine loved a call to our building!! All within Motherdom's reign.

As I write this, Amazing Grace, [adopted poodle who had already given birth to a litter of dachshunds...thereby making her a Mom], is giving my mom kisses which causes Flo to giggle and smile. They are quite the dynamic duo, and it is 'a beautiful thang'!!

And let us not forget Mother Nature. We would not survive without her, and yet her powers are awesome in both good and bad ways.

My personal and literal Mother's Day was the day when I got to see, hold, and smile at my son. A 'frozen in time' snapshot in my mind, especially since when I was up to my elbows in alligators [that would be hours of labor], I ...maybe... for a moment or two ...had lost the focus of the purpose at hand.

And then....there was Jer.

Presently, there may be an adopted daughter or two that I have chosen to add to my motherdom. I think that it is not necessarily a 'right of passage' [get it?] that bestows Motherdom; it is a state of mind.

So, Happy Motherdom Day Everyone! Share the love. It is not a private a club-everyone is welcome.

Fa la la la la....la la la la!

Overnight visits with my brother, son, and my grand pup... border collie-lab ADHH...attention deficit hyperactive Hank! He provided entertainment 'a la squeaky toy' with everyone who would pay attention...and even when the world was tired and snoozing in chairs, he was still squeeking out a song! He is a beautiful, gentle giant with a shiny coat and a free spirit who smiles with his eyes, 'Play with me!' Loved by everyone except Grace who didn't want to play[her loss] and the cat with great big eyes hiding behind the couch.
My mother...my brother...my son...my grandpup.
Dinner for four was at home in the dining room [ made Mom very happy] with the food supplied by a local restaurant where the food is delicious which made everyone's dining experience a tasty one.
The best part of Christmas: hugs!
And there you have it!