Trick or treat...revisited!

Well, here we are about to 'fall back' again. It is the last day of October, and most of the leaves have already hit the ground.

It is also Halloween...which when I was teaching those 'little rascals'...was my least favorite day of the school year. There was really no learning happening in the morning, and the afternoon was all about costumes, a parade, a party, and candy. Imagine the result when... the major sugar rush dressed up in a costume interacted with all of the other actors in full disguise who were also fueled by the 'trick or treat' dispensation of the day!! Whew!

The real world just doesn't have a clue of what that day was like annually along with what might possibly occur. And sometimes did occur! One year was a particularly difficult year for the Halloween's festivities. It was a combination of a group of students with their own personal problems compounded by the fact that they didn't relate well to their fellow classmates. So when the 'sword wielding pirate' met the deadly ghost in battle, it was especially challenging for 'she who was in charge'...and that was me!!! And at the end of that afternoon in purgatory, there were all of the buses loaded with kids waiting... for the dreaded vampire to be talked out of his intended flight away from the school. Almost to the school's property line and still costumed with a green face and his dreaded wax teeth in his hand, when one step was taken in his direction, he would take another step away. Well...hell's bells!!!

I was thinking in my head, "Get your **** behind on that bus...right now!!!"

Instead, some calm reasoning [???] with him did result in his **** vampire-caped behind going up the stairs of the bus!! Hallelulia!! And yes, I'd love a glass of wine.

And here I am...happy to be retired on Halloween.

The March of the Crayfish

This is Part 2... the final chapter... of my 'Mad Scientist' escapades! Similar to my two 'horse stories of Aug 24', I succumbed to the pressure of:

"Oh come on! You can do it!! Give it another chance!

I will help you through the entire science unit!" said Ms 'I love science', my new team partner when I was transferred to 4th grade. I had already tried to negotiate my way out of teaching science. Science units arrived in kits, and the first one was electricity. It had hands-on experiments with batteries and light bulbs, and ...oh joy!!!

Simply electrifying! [just kidding].

Since you were supposed to learn by discovery, there was no teacher's manual...with 'the flippin answers'!! So when the kids would ask, "What's going to happen when we connect these two wires?" Joking around, I might tell them that their hair would stand straight up and then their eye color would change!!...and smile as their eyes got bigger...followed by....."Really?? "

"What do you think?"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Good thinking, Bradley!"

In looking back, I must say that the most unforgettable unit had to be.....the crayfish!!!

They arrived by UPS in a package labeled: Live material! Open immediately!!

Cheers and whoops of joy were the kids' response to their arrival. We had already set up the tables with sand, water, and containers under which the crayfish could scurry for cover.

Everyone got to pick out a crayfish, name it, weigh it, and label it with a distinctive design like maybe a blue dot on the left pincher or a stripe on its back, etc.
During the next month or so, we conducted experiments and kept records. It was important to learn how to pick them up, or you could get hurt. It was safe to lift them up behind those pinchers [weapons] by their main body part. [I have already forgotten its official term.] And so, I was a little shy about that.
Mind over matter...You have to be brave in front of the kids. And I did it!! After a few times and with practice, I had no fear! This was a piece of cake! Answering questions about the crayfish, well, that was a different challenge.

"Mrs. W, how do you know if is a male or a female?"

"Good question!! Pick up their shelter and look for the shopping bags!![kidding!]"

It goes without saying that the kids got attached to their crayfish. When it was time for the crayfish to move on, there were many long faces. My partner and I decided that we could take an autumn walking field trip with the kids to the lake and then the kids could be a part of the 'proper send off' back into their natural environment. We all stood on the shore and on the count of three, all crayfish were set down on the shore. As a small wave picked up crayfish, they went belly up!

"Why are they doing that? asked the kids.

"They are doing the back stroke to get out there faster. Ok everyone, let's go."

My teammate couldn't believe how fast I came up with that answer, and holding in the laughter, we returned to the school for a little bit of distraction on the playground.

The next science unit was 'powders and crystals'. At that point, I refused to go any further without a teacher's manual!! I didn't want to cause any havoc mixing things that I wasn't positive were not going to explode!! I got through it, and it was my last adventure in teaching science.

There is an epilogue to the story, though.

Years later, and in a different building, I was teaching 5th grade and I walked into Ms Science's room for something. There was a [friend]substitute teacher in there, and the kids were interacting with....their crayfish!!

Hey! I remember studying crayfish, and it was a lot of fun!

In an effort to show how comfortable I was with the little critters, I stuck my palm out and said to one of the kids, "Let me see your crayfish."

What was I thinking? I was not thinking.

The kid put the crayfish in my palm.

The crayfish promptly grabbed on for dear life with its pinchers.

Yeeoowww! My instinctual response was to immediately shake it off of my hand.

Did you know that crayfish can fly??

Give me an S...s, give me a C...c, give me an I...i...

I have been scientifically challenged for a very long time. My theory[!!] is that this logic based subject is more difficult for lefties since logic is a left brain activity and I am definitely in my right mind!!. Even all the way back to my college courses, I had to take astronomy [twice], eked my way through geology, and the final hurdle was 'Teaching Science in the Elementary School'...gulp! Everyone had to teach a lesson to the class, and mine was progressing relatively okay. It had something to do with air...and I recall discussing that the use of a can opener allows the contents of a can to accessed. blah, blah, blah....And then the professor asked, " Why must you make two holes in the can? Why won't it work with only one opening in the can?"

Huh? What the hell kind of question was that??

My reaction was a combination of 'frozen with fear' and 'Good Lord...I have no idea!'

My immediate choices were to faint...or pray for a lightning bolt to put me out of my misery.
I had to seek a different route to keep that science lesson going...not the 'science' part, but the 'lesson' part. Graciously, I punted back to my fellow classmates,

"Great question! Phillip, what is your theory on that?"

"You have to have the second hole so that air can push the liquid out."

"Of course you do!! "

In my head, "Really, well bust my buttons! Who would've thunk that???!!!"

[Pop tops entered the scene years later, but please don't ask me why they work so well without the second hole to push out the air. And also, you 'can' [punny!]spare me the reasoning why...]

Several years later in a 5th grade teaching position, my observation by the principal was to be a science lesson.

Huh? Can't I just tell him that I have 'science dyslexia'? scientifically intolerant?[similar to lactose intolerant!] allergic, maybe?

Alrighty then! For my observed lesson in a previous job, I selected plants, cuttings, growing roots in the water, seeds, etc. It was fine! But plants were not in this 5th grade curriculum. The water cycle was the topic, and the lesson was to create condensation where droplets of water were going to form...and then...rain!!
We did everything right. And... did it rain?

Not one water droplet!

Was I surprised? No.

And once again, another punt to the kids...

"What do you think is the reason it didn't work?"

And after acknowledging several logical responses, and praising the thinking skills of my scientifically gifted ...future cancer curing geniuses...I said,

"That's right...and things don't always work out as planned!"

In my head I was thinking that I'd leave creating rain to the 'great creator' who knew how to get it right!!

Well, my strengths are definitely reading/language arts, math, social studies, ...ABS...'anything but science'. Before I was able to accept the things that were NOT going to change, I actually had to endure another chance to prove that it would be better if the science classes were taught by those who not only understood it...but LIKED it, too.

That story will be my next post.

"The Plight of the Unsuspecting Crayfish!"

Why is change so difficult for people?

It would seem that people will go to great lengths...unbelievable balancing acts...to keep things the same. Change is scary...even to the point of remaining in a bad relationship rather than taking the leap of faith necessary to see that things could be better with a different plan.
I am actually referring to our education system. Years ago, the school year was based upon the farmers' planting and harvesting calendar. Not the case anymore. Yet when it was suggested that the school year should be extended, objections came from many camps and all sides.

What? Go to school in the summer? What about the kids' summer vacation? And, yes, many/most teachers wouldn't be keenly receptive, either.

Well, exactly what is the reason that school is open and mandatory[by law]?

It would be for the education of people.

What is probably the bottom line for maintaining/streamlining the way it is now? Money. $$$

Here's what I think:
'Alter' the school year so that there is NOT a 'summer vacation' which is a large amount of time during which the the kids lose momentum and skills. The first month they return often includes practice and review to get them where they were when they left[which for the most part includes many students below the education 'standards' that have been already been set.]

Maybe the yearly calendar could be rearranged: 11 weeks on followed by 2 weeks off. Another 11 weeks on followed by 2 weeks off. And then a third and fourth round of 11 weeks on with 2 weeks off. This stretches out the time and there are still 8 weeks recess for either family time[vacations, if lucky] and/or possibly kids needing remediation could be signed up for 2 weeks of enrichment.

Air Condition the rooms so that the heat is not an issue. Portable [mobile] room air conditioners are about $500 each and wouldn't require massive renovation costs to put in central air! To those who already have it, be thankful!!

It is difficult to achieve successful lessons when no one can get past 'the flippin'heat'. It reminds me of the phrase: When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remember that the objective was to drain the swamp!

Actually...

The education system in the USA is currently at alligator levels.

The answer is not to cut staff creating bigger classes.

The answer is not to cut libraries or music and the arts.

I don't have all of the answers. I do believe that people would adjust to a reorganization of the calendar...if/when given the chance to get our priorities in order.

Priorities??

That would be where our students were not behind in Math and Science. Reading[with comprehension] and writing [ grammatically correctly] would be important and done well.

We need the parents with us by assuring that the kids get ample sleep and breakfast, along with good communication. We are, after all, on the same side. We care about the health and well being of the kids, the citizens, and our country.

So... regardless of Democrat, Republican, or independent party lines... how do we get people to work with us?.... for our future...before it's too late.

Whiskers' words of wisdom!

When I was a kid of 7 or 8, we had a green parakeet named 'Peter'. He was an okay bird famous only for squawking when the evening news came on. My father would then begin squawking about how he couldn't hear the news, the bird's fabric cage cover was then put on...thus beginning nighttime for Peter. I also remember that Peter laid an egg. ???? We thought Peter was a male, AND since this bird never came into contact with another bird, we were kind of surprised! I don't remember the circumstances of his passing, but he did indeed do that at some point.

My family moved when I was 13, and another green parakeet became the family pet. This was 'Whiskers' and he proved to be quite the star. He was both friendly and pretty darned smart! I had read that you could teach a parakeet to talk by repeating a phrase often, and by kicking your voice up to a higher pitch..otherwise when repeated by the parakeet, it would just sound like mumbling and the phrase would be unrecognizable. And so I began with 'Good Morning!' every day and repeated it four or five times during the day for a month or so. And one morning when we were eating breakfast ...you guessed it... from the corner of the kitchen and as clear as a bell...came the parrakeeted "Good Morning" with the exact same inflection of my repetitive prompt. Wahoo!

Since my father's opinion of Whiskers was that he was just an ordinary 'dirty bird' , I thought we could possibly win him over if Whiskers greeted him personally. I began to go over to the cage and say,

"Good morning! And added on...Hel-lo Joe!"

Tacked on to the familiar phrase was the NEW phrase. And I repeated it several times during the day as I had for Whisker's first spoken words.

Yep! Yep! Whiskers was a genius!! Again, he perfected it!

Again I added a new phrase to the two that Whiskers already had mastered, and then he said,

Good morning!

Hello Joe!

Hello Tom! [my brother]

Hello Mare!

You're such a pretty bird!

Parlez-vous Francais? [I took French in high school.]

Buddha make... a miracle! [from The King and I ... our HS musical.]

I could call my friends, put Whiskers on the phone's receiver, and start off the entire litany of 15-20 phrases by prompting the first words of, "Good Morning" and he would say everything he had learned all into the phone.

Whiskers was a 'one of a kind'. A star!!

And a pretty good role model to those kids in school who said that they just couldn't recall those times tables!!

Roller coastering along!

Life's been rolling right along.

I have been a panel member on a real life version of "To Tell The Truth [remember that TV show?] but there were 4 personalities... 3 impostors and then the real Flo. First there was Lucy[ as in Hal'luci'nation] who saw people and things that really weren't there, most often in the evening hours when things go bump in the night! Then when antibiotics arrived on the scene, general health improved but all she wanted to do was sleep. No eating or drinking...just sleeping upright in the recliner to assist in breathing. Not necessarily without any moments of drama though!! My favorite 'Funniest Home Video' segment was so-o unexpected, and I 'SO ' wish that there was a Candid Camera focused on caregiver St Nic's face to capture the moment. After about 5-10 minutes of lovingly trying to get some fluids into Flo, it was obvious that all the patient really wanted was to be left alone, and she had already expressed this wish. Nic decided to try just one more time of 'take a sip of this juice' and she placed the straw to touch the outside of Mom's lips. In a quiet yet sarcastic voice surely meant as an aside, her thoughts were whispered ...in the form of the words..
"Jesus Christ!"

Nic's head spun around like Linda Blair's in the Exorcist and her eyes were huge! It was priceless! Never..ever.. had there been a hint of this behavior from the gentle blue-eyed angel in her care for a couple of years!! This was Maxine!!

It was a moment of comic relief that still brings a smile to my face just by thinking about it.

Mom began responding to the antibiotic, and as she slept her way back to her regular good-natured old self, we referred to her as "Rip Van Winkle" shortened to an affectionate 'Rip'. Thankfully, the antibiotics kicked in, and as if someone flipped a switch, she opened her eyes and 'Sweet Flo' was back. Yea! Wahoo!! Out of the woods!

Not so fast, Kimosabe!

The wheezing returned, she choked taking her medicine, and back to the doctor we went.

The actual format of this movie has been changed to fit in a blog mode. There was a 911 call and trip to the ER, but that's another story for a different day.

Wrapping it up: With a different antibiotic and a couple of [at home] nebulizer treatments, Rip is sleeping comfortably in the recliner again. I dare say, I would be very surprised if Maxine were to return. And very, very unhappy if sleep-deprived Lucy were to return. I think the GPS has located Flo.

So, in the words of the 'To Tell The Truth Show'...

Will the real 'sweet natured Flo' please stand up?

What to do??

All's quiet on the eastern front. Mom is engaged in 'sleep therapy' so that she can get well. The dog is stretched out on the couch next to me, and the cat is stretched out behind the couch...both of them in a post feeding repose. I am watching 'The View' and enjoying the 'piece' of quiet time. [a variation of 'peace' and quiet mode.]

Last night as we were getting ready for bed, suddenly there was a whole lot of shaking going on. That would be Flo 'chillin' as in...perhaps there is a fever in the wings. Yep! When I raised her bed to give her two Tylenol, I hoped that it could be a stress-free event . The first one went down okay, but the second one caused all kinds scary reactions...first to Flo ...which immediately caused my wide-eyed reaction.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!!"

Arms flailin' a bit, resulted in the 2nd Tylenol landing under the dresser.

A note to the people who have some form of company in the house: It is very troubling to be nervous and 'in charge' with no one around to share that worry. It's a familiar corner for me. I joined 'parenting by one' when my son was five years old. I guess that I learned that you don't know how strong you are until that's your only choice. Sink or swim.

Appreciation was penned by my son in 1st [or 2nd grade] when the teacher had each student write something [good, I presume], which was collated and copied to be handed to the moms on Mother's Day. What was my claim to fame?
The title was: My 21st Ear Infection

Details included how 'my mom took me to the emergency room and they gave me medicine for my burning ear pain...otherwise I would have been a dead duck!" Priceless!!

Back to Flo: I used a life line and phoned St Nic. She has a wonderful calming effect on Mom, and I was wishing there was someone standing beside me [other than the dog who was very aware that something wasn't going quite 'normally']. Nic came over to help us. God bless her.

The two of us decided that Flo would sleep better in the living room recliner so that breathing would be easier. This was a manageable manuever thanks to Nic. We got Flo comfortably settled and the couch became my bed. Nic went home, and Flo went into a deep sleep, but there wasn't a whole lot of sleeping going on for me. Not only because there was no way that the couch could compare to my bed, but also due to the fact that something became crystal clear in the darkness of the night. What would that be??

That would be the dog's entertainment of 'cat bowling' whenever the cat entered the room. Followed by the fast and furious roadrunner chase that resulted. Oh yeah! That would be the reason that the dog and cat sleep in separate worlds!!! Okey Dokey! Lesson learned and noted!

Cat and dog: Different Plans Necessary

Other lesson learned: Liquid Tylenol for adults is a blessing.

And finally, since the antibiotic wasn't available in liquid form, the pharmacist indicated that Flo's pill could be crushed and put on a spoon with applesauce. That was an instant flashback to my childhood when Mom would appear with 2 spoons: The first one had a crushed aspirin hidden in applesauce, and the second one was a pure applesauce chaser. Deja Vue[all over again as Yogi Berra would say!]

...the circle of life.

Beware of 'The Distraction'.

Yesterday morning, I had an instinct that Mom's altered states were on the way. Awake at 7 AM with eyes wide open...and sleep no longer an option for a very long time. Well, it's 7 AM again, and there were a whole lot of hall'Lucy"nations going on during the very long night. There were no naps or nodding off during the day. As we left the living room for bed [that night], she saw a man standing outside the window. Then when it was 'lights out', it became, "Who are all these people?"

And evidently she was babysitting a party of drinking women on the third floor, and it evolved to the husbands and dogs arriving there too. and Flo was afraid of getting in trouble...???

"Are your eyes open, Mom?"

"Yes."

"Well close those peepers and you won't see them!"

"Ok..."

Have I ever mentioned my theory on 'The Distraction'? When you are having difficulties of any kind...whether it involves the mind...body...spirit...emotions...life...

Never ask the question:

What else could happen? or make the statement that 'Things can not get any worse!

There have been many occasions where I was already battling something that I thought was stressful enough...when along came something else that demanded front and center stage! And that is the distraction...

Quite often, the distraction is more stressful than the original scenario.

Having explained this...

I would like to thank the Good Lord for the thunder and lightening storm in the middle of the night...in October...while ALL eyes were wide open...in a room full of strangers.

Haha...very funny! NOT!

Because I then had the dog glued to my side or wanting to hang out in my armpit due to the storm.

Well, I'm reeling Lord...but I'm still standing!!

[That's a quote from my life in 1984....but that's another story...for another time.]

Smile...for the camel's aching back!

Okay everybody...listen up!

Whether or not you voted for Obama for President, the fact is that we can move forward faster if his every move is not scrutinized looking for a possible negative slant. Why must the Olympic 2016 games in Rio be debated as to whether the President helped or hurt the cause?

South America has never hosted the Olympics...EVER! We didn't lose anything...Rio finally gets to host the games. We still get to participate, and be so very proud of our athletes and our country.

For an administration trying to pull together the economy, a war, health care for everyone, and world peace [to name a few top priorities], it must be very discouraging to be constantly 'spoken about' as less than acceptable. I admire the way that the President has been able to weather the storm when it is always a high tide with a strong 'nay-saying' rip tide.

Our political system needs some overhauling...the Congress, governors, mayors, ...everyone could be a part of the solution.

So, how 'bout it? Just for today[ and then one day at a time],

If you can't find something positive to say...

let a smile be your statement!