Closing thoughts on the Olympics...

The opening ceremonies were awesome...literally! Almost flawless[The little girl who actually did the singing should have been out there in the spotlight.]
My opinion remains solid that it was 'stupid' to declare a winner by a hundredth of a point, and it got 'stupider' when a tie happened in gymnastics and yet there were gold and silver medals awarded. However, the 'stupidest' award goes to the rowing races and the fact that a photo finish declared that one of the tieing teams won by three thousandths of a point. How flippin ridiculous is that?

Moving on...
Flo and I happened to see the coverage of synchronized swimming. It was amazing choreography, costuming, athletics, and...hello...teamwork! I know that some people think it is silly or such, but some amazing routines were exhibited!
Also, synchronized gymnastic teams[ like 5 people] who performed beautiful routines with hoops and baton- like projectiles flying through the air, and they made it look easy! It was quite a show of choreography, costumes, athletics, and...hello...teamwork!
And yet, synchronized swimming and synchronized gymnastics did not get the attention that solo swimming and solo gymnastics did.

I have a very difficult time accepting the veracity of the '16' year old Chinese gymnasts.
Doesn't seem believable to me.

Thank God for the safety of all of the Olympians, and in the year 2008 which has violence as an everyday occurrence. Yet, prayers to the family of the coach's father-in-law who was the victim of a random act of violence.
The coverage was often fun. Matt Lauer and Al Roker's skit with the big hoops and twirling ribbons was laughing out loud entertaining. The background info on all of the contestants proved to be inspiring in what it took to get there. 'Family ties' abounded.

Most of all, it was refreshing to see everyone pull together for their country. In the waiting room of the hospital where I volunteer, it made my heart smile when someone would ask me if I would change the channel to the Olympics, and then watch total strangers gather around to witness history as conversation flourished. I'd have to pry them away when it was their turn to have their scheduled medical procedure done!

Onward to 2010 Winter Games. I'll be sipping the hot chocolate with marshmallows while skiers are flying thru the air in the snow. Second thought...maybe some Baileys in coffee. I'll have to think about that!

Who'd have thunk it?

Within the last month, I was reading someone's blog and the idea presented itself that while our body ages over the passing years...why is it that we never feel that same age in our head? I left a comment that I have a refrigerator magnet that says,'We are all the same age inside.' I certainly can't believe that I have passed 29!
While listening to the radio one night, there was a guest speaker who related the experience of having a stroke. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor was 37 years old and a Harvard trained brain scientist [a neuroanatomist]. She had a massive stroke when a blood vessel in the left side of her brain exploded. Dr. Taylor shares her experiences in her book, "My Stroke of Insight."
I purchased the book for a variety of reasons. In listening to her radio interview, it became clear that the book was NOT a complicated science book. I have always been majorly fascinated by the right brain/left brain information and her book is a journey into the mechanics of the mind. And my mom[Flo] had a stroke on the left side of her brain.
That being said, I loved the book and have located the excerpt I was thinking about: [page 13]

"Most of the different types of cells in our body die and are replaced every few weeks or months. However, neurons, the primary cell of the nervous system, do not multiply [for the most part] after we are born. That means that the majority of the neurons in your brain today are as old as you are. This longevity of the neurons partially accounts for why we feel pretty much the same on the inside at the age of 10 as we do at age 30 or 77. The cells in our brain are the same but over time their connections change based upon their/our experience."
Pretty darn amazing!!! The rest of the book also gets a 'thumbs up' from me!
And there you have it.

Part 2: Can you believe that there was a cold day in hell?[ Read after Pt. 1]

I realize that if you read my last post, that you would have a hard time believing that I would attempt another horse experience! No way, Jose! I can't believe it myself. It either speaks of my stupidity or Janet's friendship. [We are still best friends 35+ years later! ]

Okay...fast forward a bit of time [a couple of years later],and Janet tells me that the town is offering 6 horsebackriding lessons[adult ed] and "Hey! Let's do it."
I'm aghast! "Are you kidding? Thanks, but I'll pass."
So she tries to persuade me with all of the reasons why it will be different than the last time.
And 'Halleluia'...I am strong and say, "Absolutely not!" I had already done my 'kite hung up in the tree' routine, and I wasn't planning an encore.
Janet gets her younger sister to join with her and they begin lessons and all is well. Whew! End of story??
Not exactly!
After 2 lessons, Janet's sister couldn't attend lesson 3 because of a conflict, and would I go with her as her sister? Even though I wasn't a part of Lessons 1and 2, Janet was certain she could fill me in on the details on the ride to the stables.
"Aw come on...you can do it. Just give it a chance!"
"Absolutely Not!!"

So, on the way to the stables, Janet got me up to speed about getting the horse out of the stall with the carrots and apples that she had brought with her. And the rest of the info thus far....
Can you believe it?
For me, it was like an out of body experience.

Off to the stables, carrot in hand, my horse is larger than life. We walk into the arena and everyone and their horse assembles in the center for instructions. I cannot remember how I was able to be catapulted into the saddle, but there I was awaiting the nod to follow in step ...one horse's ass behind the next going slowly around the arena in a huge oval.
Again, just when I think it is safe to come out of the woods [see Part 1], my horse begins to exhibit some anti-social behaviors by trying to grab and chew on the tail of the horse in front of him. This was not well received by the other horse. The possible outcomes that I could think of were many and varied...not one of which I wanted to partake. So I made the decision that I had exceeded my capacity for fun, and I was done. I steered that horse into the center of the arena and slid off like a circus pro!!
An instructor came over and asked me if he could help in any way.
"Not really," I say, "I'm done."
The instructor consoled me and tried to calm my nerves by telling me how gentle and tame these horses were, and he would assist me.
Jesus standing there in His sandles wouldn't have changed my mind.
"No thanks...I think I'll pass."
And then he said the words that have lived on in infamy:
"Seven year old children with muscular dystrophy ride these horses. That's how reliable they are."
"That's nice," I said, and I left the building and waited for Janet in the car.
Referring back to accepting the things that I cannot change, changing the ones I can, and being smart enough to know the difference...I can now tell you that ...yes, I am smart enough even though it was a cold day in Hell when I took another ride...but I am also here to tell you that:
Hell hath officially frozen over! And that is definitely not going to change!!

Part One: Will the real horse's ass please stand up?

Long, long time ago
I can still remember [Are you singing 'American Pie'?]

Actually, in a former life of mine...early twenties...my good friend decided that we should go horseback riding. I was not thrilled about this, as I inherited the 'horse bit my foot' gene from my mother. But Janet managed to talk me into it, thus beginning my saga of horse stories.
We went to a place where a guide would lead the way for an hour at a reasonable rate[$$]. Hesitant at best, I requested the oldest horse of the herd. I did not want to be scared to death, and maybe an old mare[!] wouldn't be able to sense my fear. I had to stand on a bench to reach the stirrup and jump into the saddle. A young teenager began leading us along a pathway through the woods. After a little while when I began to breathe, the up and down bouncing became relatively normal and I relaxed a bit and decided that horseback riding might even be fun. As we came into a clearing, the guide realized we were close in proximity to where her boyfriend lived. What a surprise! She just wanted to say hello, and so we trotted over to his house where the leader of the pack laughed and chatted while Janet on her horse... and I on the old grey mare... rested for a moment.
All of a sudden, our host looks at her watch and yells out," Oh my God! We're going to be late! And I'm going to be in big trouble!! Giddy-up!!"
She takes off in a gallop, and Janet's horse immediately follows, and I found myself following along at a pace that quite frankly surprised me. After all, I did ask for the old and tired one!
And then it happened so fast... in the blink of an eye...as we followed the two galloping horses in a major hurry...eyes focused straight ahead...never saw the downed tree trunk laying across the path... and the horse went down...and I went UP... and landed in a tree!
Whoa! I should've yelled "!Whoa!"
Not 30 seconds later, Janet comes back after realizing that I am no longer following her...[like I had a choice??], and sees me rejoining the ground from the tree, and says...
"Get back on the horse."
"I don't think so..."
"You know what they say...You have to get right back on the horse."
"I can't reach the horse...even if I wanted to!"

Janet dismounts and clasps her two hands together to give me a stepping boost, and I did get back on that old grey mare...promising myself that it would be a cold day in hell before I do the horseback riding thing again.
We arrive back where we began, relinquish the horses, and Janet says..."Fun? So, would you go again some other time!"
" Oh yeah! On a cold day in hell!"

Glad all over...

I just finished Part 2 of the AARP Safe Driving Instructing, and it was another successful venture. It is always fun to watch people come together and share stories about driving. Without having to be best friends, there is a certain affirmation in someone seconding your opinion about traffic, the absence of appropriate turn signals, and let us not forget the rudeness of other drivers. I should have given out gold, silver, and bronze ribbons for laughter inducing remarks! Instead of only those 3 awards, I had a vase full of glads[gladiolas] and everyone got to take one home. It was my way of telling them about the value of taking some time to smell the flowers, but also find something to be 'glad' about. Get it?

I'm glad that my mom receives such joy from my dog. It's a mutual admiration win/win thing! To hear Flo say,"You're such a good girl...You have such beautiful eyes...I love you, sweetheart...[I must remind you that she is talking about the dog, not me!!]

I'm glad that she is enjoying the birds and flowers. She tells me,"You have such good scenery here."

I'm glad that we get to laugh together.

O Say can you see??

Can you find the man's face among the coffee beans? He's definitely there!!

How do you spell relief?

Off to Driving Class...

Part one of the gathering of men and women [age 50+seasoned drivers]:
Most often, the majority of people don't know each other -except the ones who are a couple.
Couple of what? Couple of married folk who take 'license' [pun intended] to share the driving irregularities of their spouse...often very funny!!!
In talking about medication and pain, one man said,"I go to bed with pain every night and I get up with pain every morning!" And his wife looked at him and said,"You better not be talking about me!"
In the discussion about blind spots and what might be unseen, I told them about an Oprah show that I had seen where they were able to sit 40 kindergarteners behind a minivan to point out that the driver could not see them in the rear view mirror. So a woman told of a neighbor who got in her car and after looking in the rear view mirror-backed over the sleeping dog in the driveway and then hit the neighbor's cat, too!
The woman next to me said,"TMI" [too much information!].
There is an accompanying vcr tape that gets shown along the way-in about 5 minute segments relating to the chapter that we're discussing. While everyone is watching the tape, I take the opportunity to check over their registration forms. I glance up [in driving terms...I scan the room] and there is a little [aged] lady with her head down on her chest. I think to myself...'Good Lord...I hope that she's still with us!'
Not wanting to call attention to her, I walked over to her, gently rubbed her back, and whispered, "Are you OK?"
She was asleep! Whew!! What a relief!! It would've not been a good endorsement for the safe driving class. She'd better be paying close attention when we get to the chapter on drowsy drivers, 'cause even though the lights were out...there were thirty people in the room with her!!
During a 10 minute break, I happened upon a line waiting for the ladies room, and nothing by the men's room. The first woman in line looked at me and said,"There is a man in the men's room, but when he comes out...two of us are goin' in!!!
Time to wrap it up for the first 9-1 session; I told them that I'd see them next Sat at 1:00.
Almost in unison, they said..."you mean 9?"
"What did I say? One???"
Not missing a beat I did my "I just did that to see if you were paying attention!!"
We all laughed together as we exited the building. I look forward to next week -when once again... I'll be volunteering for some more fun.

How 'bout an eclectic entry?

A little of this and a little of that!
I set up today for my next AARP Safe driving class. Right now, there are 24 people signed up, and it is always an adventure. It is 4 hours tomorrow[Sat] and the other 4 on next Sat. If you are new to reading my stories, go back to my post,"You couldn't script this kind of stuff!"[6/1] for a little bit of the 'karma' of the class. New details to come...

I've been watching the Olympics and the USA won both gold and silver in women's gymnastics individual all around. Second place was 0.6[six tenths] difference. Clearly, she was happy to be standing on the platform with her good friend[the gold medal winner] ,and I'll just accept the things that are out of my control. Not even one point's separation of talent. Congrats to all of the athletes...a lot of time and effort went into the pursuit of their dream. And if the closing ceremony is anything like the opening ceremony, I'll be watching. Hopefully, it'll be a performance extraordinaire for the eyes and ears!

In my yard, is Mother Nature's Gold Medal Winner!!
It is a hibiscus flower the size of a dinner plate. My perennial shrub has about 75 buds in various states of growth. I've been cutting off the full blooms and sharing them. One for Flo's table, and I took one to Bunko on Wed night.
People are in awe at the color and detail of this magnificient flower. I brought one into the hospital where I volunteer and placed it on the sign -in counter. Great distractor for people who haven't eaten or had any liquid from midnight of the night before. A woman passing by in the hallway wheeled her mom into the waiting room just to see it closer. Another one stopped me in the hall, and didn't realize that it was real. So, as I left, I gave it to Sue whose job it is to sit in the parking lot booth and calculate how much money you owe. She loved it!
And lastly, as friends of mine were leaving my house, I let the dog walk[??} out with us and she took off in high speed to circle the tree of life. What is that? It is a beautiful evergreen tree that is a known maternity ward for many, many birds and rabbits. Well, Grace flushed a rabbit out and quite the hot pursuit began. The dog does not respond to me calling her when she is chasing rabbits. So I had to go for the gold ring- pull out all of the stops-play my trump 'Come back here' by yelling out...Grace...Want to go for a ride? I had my friend start the car, and then slam the door. Abracadabra! Here-e-'s Gracie! She knows the joy of sticking her head out the window - having her ears flying horizontally...chasing the wind!!
Ain't life grand! It's often the little things that can make ya smile. And yep! yep!! Grace does smile!!

Calling all lefties!!

August 13

It's International Left Hander's Day...

So if it applies to you...

WAHOO!!

from one leftie to fellow lefties!

We are the only ones who are in our right mind.

If the earth were only...

If the earth were only
a few feet in diameter,floating a
few feet above a field somewhere,
people would come from everywhere to
marvel at it.People would walk around it
marveling at its big pools of water,its little pools,
and the water flowing between the pools. People would
marvel at the bumps on it,and the holes in it,and they
would marvel at the very thin layer of gas surrounding it
and the water suspended in the gas. The people would marvel
at all the creatures walking around the surface of the ball,
and at the creatures in the water. The people would declare
it precious because it was the only one and they would
protect it so that it would not be hurt. The ball would be
the greatest wonder known, and the people would come to
behold it,to be healed,to gain knowledge,to know
beauty and to wonder how it could be. People
would love it,and defend it with their lives,
because they would somehow know that
their lives, their own roundness,
would be nothing without it.
If the Earth were only
a few feet in
diameter.

[author unknown

Do you believe in magic?

I am watching the Olympics and it really is kinda fun. I enjoy rooting for the home team. Something about it brings people together with a common focus. A brief hiatus in the everyday allegiance of conservative vs liberal, prejudice vs tolerant, religious vs agnostic, environmentalist vs capitalist, paper or plastic, mayo or miracle whip!!
Hah! I had to inject an element of silly to get to my two topics, the first one being the comical one. I was watching the rowing races[I can't think of the real name for this sport], and I found myself [unconsciously] physically leaning toward the finish line in an effort to help our team move ahead of the others. And even after correcting this goofy behavior, I found myself doing it again! I had to really control this behavior during the gymnastics[ balancing on the very top[beam] of the couch is pretty tricky!]Sometimes for a laugh, I would say,"I can do that"
On to my other point...

Am I the only one to see that the emperor has no clothes??
Many contests are subjective in scoring and a 6.5 edges out a 6.49 and that's the way it is. But the swimmer who lost the gold because of .08 difference in time...Come on! I do not believe that a second can be separated into one hundred parts. Think about it...Oops! Your second is gone! I think it is bizarre, and yet it is accepted as the rule.
If you can wrap your brain around a contest being decided by a hundredth of a second, then please contact me because I have some land in Florida for sale!

A Chuckle For Teachers

I just had lunch with a couple of retired teachers, and it reminded me that I had told dellgirl that I had a similar joke [as hers] but in relation to teachers/school. So here it is:

You have reached the answering service of your school.
In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member,
please listen to all options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent...Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work...Press 2

To complain about what we do...Press 3

To cuss out staff members...Press 4

To ask why you didn't get needed information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you...Press 5

If you want to reach out and touch, slap, or hit someone...Press 7

To request another teacher for the third time this year...Press 8

To complain about bus transportation...Press 9

To complain about school lunches...Press 0

If you realize that this is the real world and your child must be accountable/
responsible for his/her behavior, classwork, homework, and that it's not the teacher's fault for your child[ren]'s lack of effort...
Hang up and have a nice day!!

Where's Ma Bell when you really need her?

Oh, here goes.

Once again, I had phone problems. Bad enough that my cell phone is so annoying [I'm waiting 'til Sept. to get a new one to avoid a $200 early cancellation fee], but now my home phone is competing for the title of' Most Likely To Cause Insanity'! I'd be talking to someone, and then they're not there, and the phone window says 'searching'. Well, aren't we all searching? for something?
Already a challenge to find the ringing phone..[" I think the ringing is coming from the couch cushions!"],push the correct buttons to connect before it automatically goes to the answering machine, and oh yes- the speaker so that Flo can hear the incoming conversation, but to add the unpredictability of the connection crashing...it was just too much!

I went to buy a new set of 'potentionally reliable' communication devices and got one which includes a stationary main phone [with a curly wire that stays attached to the main base]. Details later if you want to get in on the pool of exactly how many days it will take the spiraling cord to twirl itself into a mere shadow of its original length.] Oops! Too late! Already happened! Just kidding!

My 'new and improved' phone set also has 2 additional portables which means I can keep one in the kitchen and one in the bedroom, and with the non movable base in the living room...I shouldn't be searching for the sound of the invisible phone!![ in theory!].
I'm feeling such positive anticipation of a problem solved, and I'll let you know how it works out...Just as soon as my bail is posted for what happened when I couldn't figure out how to retrieve the three phones from the hermetically sealed - childproof - environmentally friendly - bullet proof PACKAGING that it currently lives in. Even the 'non- digitally- challenged' hero that rescued the aforementioned purchase from my bleeding hands...had some trouble with it. I think it's a plot!
Speaking of plots, I guess I'll just gather up the old phone set and add it to the 'Dead Zone' of the phone cemetery in the hall closet.
Talk to you soon...maybe.

An excellent example of awesome!

Anyone who watched the Bejing Olympics's opening ceremonies had to be amazed at the scope and complexity of the choreography- it was a smorgasbord for the senses! It had 15,000 performers involved; some who rehearsed for 4 months of eight hour days. It was so perfect. There was music and costuming coordination that had eye-popping aesthetic magic. The costumes were a vision of color and light. And just when I thought that it wasn't possible to exceed the mesmerizing drama that had already unfolded...a new segment would begin that would absolutely amaze you!
It had visions that appeared at the top of the birdnest which were inspiring and unique. It had a story which unfolded in front of you using rhythm, lighting, color, and surprise.
I have never ever witnessed such an awesome presentation.

Let the games begin!

Wahoo. We are only a couple of days away from the Olympics-history in the making. I wish all of the athletes...all good things. In random order:
good transportation [safe and on time]
good performances
good sportsmanship
good referree-ing
good weather
good health
good atmosphere[no political agendas]
peaceful and inspiring events shared among the many cultures of the planet.
and good luck, too.

Close only counts in...

When I was not working in the classroom with the kiddies, I was known to organize a faculty event or two. Being a direct descendant of
'You can't win if you don't buy a ticket' Florence,
I started an 'anyone who's interested' group lottery club going and 33 people [staff and personal friends,too] chipped in to share the tickets, and when we won...Well, the school was definitely going to be hiring!!
I bought the tickets when the jackpots got large enough to split 33 ways, and Flo checked the numbers for us since she was in on it,too.
I remember the time that Flo called and told me that we had a winning ticket. I was at a friend's house[another one in on it and everyone had copies of the numbers.] They got out their list of numbers...
"Which one...what numbers?
She started reading off the numbers-one at a time-and I repeated them outloud- and "Holy Cow! We have all 6 numbers!"
At that point, there was dancing around the table going on until Mom finally got the word thru the telephone receiver that she was reading the winning ticket's numbers...NOT..the winning numbers!!
We just about had a group heart attack!
We still laugh about that one!
Anyway, we did win sometimes, like $22.54 or even $121.00. Since it would be ridiculous to split those winnings by 33 people, small winnings went into a 'kitty' that was used to buy extra tickets when the jackpots got much larger.
After about 3 years, I decided that maybe people's lottery enthusiasm was beginning to fade. There was $10 in the kitty, and I bought 10 quickpicks. I had changed to purchasing quickpicks when I realized that if the lottery jackpot had gotten big, and someone's lucky numbers had indeed come thru...and I hadn't bought the tickets...
Well, I thought I would have to go into the witness protection plan.
I bought the kitty's last $10 in quickpicks, and the next day I handed the ticket to the clerk to have the machine check it and then we would be done. The machine began making the 'printing' noises indicating that some money had been won. The clerk said,"You've won something...seventeen sixty eight...but you will have to go to the regional lottery center for the money because I can't do that big of a payout."
I answered, "You can't pay out $17.68?"
"Not $17.68" she said.."1768.00...seventeen hundred sixty-eight dollars. You had 5 out of 6 numbers!"
UNBELIEVABLE! Finally!!Wahoo!!
Something that could be split 33 ways. Everyone won about $50, and that was great!!
And it made a 'great conversation story' to share when we realized that we missed the 6th number by 3...we had 23 and the winning number 20!
Were we crabby because we came so-o close to being on the Today Show??
Nah...Everyone knows that a common pattern for lottery winners is that after a little bit they are broke, unhappy, friendless, generally worse off than before!!
And there you have it.
And yet... we were so-o close to all that misery!!