To coin a phrase...

Grab your favorite beverage, 'cause another family story is about to be told. It is the set of circumstances which resulted in a phrase being 'coined forever' and remains relevant some 40 years later.

A little background ...in as few words as is possible.

My father's death resulted in my mother's journey into some new and different experiences. I was a senior in college and still living at home during this transition as she to adjusted to her new life. Flo was 59 and worked as a secretary. Her 'Gal Pals' were still meeting at each other's homes semi -regularly for dinner and planning their next [yearly]Broadway Show trip. The 'club' eventually began to face the reality of its members passing on, a sad reality, for sure. The unexpected death of one member was to change Mom's life forever.

Two years after my father died, one of Flo's girlfriends , at whose wedding my mom was a bridesmaid, passed quite unexpectedly in May. Her husband, now a widower, was beyond despondent and his two sons convinced him to 'call Florence' and just get together as two friends spending some time together. So Ray finally called and asked Flo if she would consider watching the Miss America Pageant together and she agreed. [In the 70's, that was entertainment.] They had a good time...

Blah, blah, blah...they began unofficially ....going out more often...dating.

Fast forward a couple of months, and a second man [ again someone she had known as a club member's husband] sought out Flo's company. Basically a very shy woman, Flo had her own reservations about accepting this second invitation because I would have to say that she had already formed an impression of him based upon a couple of things...one of them being that he smoked.

"Just go out to dinner and then decide how you feel."

And so she did.

When I returned home and asked her how it went, Flo let loose with some details as to her one and only date that wouldn't soon be forgotten.

"First of all, though he chose a very nice restaurant, he ordered 'cocktails for two' at a pace that was too fast for me. And it was impossible to not compare him to Ray, and there was no comparison! Then he took me home and told me what a great time he/we had, and leaned in to hug and kiss me. And when I took a step back, he had the nerve to say...

'What are you saving it for?'

"Well, I guess not for you!!"

Can you believe that?

That moment has been captured in time, and has lived on some 40+ years. When Mom would receive a beautiful pair of pajamas, for example, she wouldn't want to wear them immediately. She would place them in her bottom drawer of the spare room presumably saving them for a special occasion. We now would chuckle and remind her of the...

'What are you saving it for?'

For her grandchild's wedding, we found a stunning pantsuit outfit that she looked beautiful in and after the wedding, she stowed it away probably awaiting a presidential inauguration or likewise royal event.

"I'm going to save it!"

Well, she certainly set that one up for us. Again, we smiled and reminded her,

"What are you saving it for?"

Believe me, the phrase lends itself to so-o-o many different applications.

My email mailbox was at 72% capacity because I was saving jokes and amazing pictures.

What am I saving them for? It is now at 13% capacity.

The moral of the story is: You never know what tomorrow may bring. Use the good stuff. Put the really soft sheets on the bed. Wear your favorite outfit. Give the next generation what you can whether it be some time or some money or some 'reservations' and enjoy the smiles because you won't get to see them when you are gone.

Are you wondering what happened to Flo?

She had been a bridesmaid in Ray's first wedding, and the bride in his second wedding! They had known each other for a long time, each living separate lives until they were 62 and fate kind of paired them up. They were great for each other and had nine years of good times together. Some very funny stories in those nine years that I will share sometime soon.

What am I saving them for?

You will have to stay tuned to share in the laughter.

Dreamin'

When you are 98, there is more than the occasional nap on any given day. Warm and comfortable on this beautiful autumn afternoon, those blue eyes opened and looked over to see that I was there. And then,

"I just had a tooth pulled!!"

"What...do you mean?"

"I must have been dreaming."

"Aren't you glad that you were dreaming?"

"Yes I am!!" "Me, too."

And just when I think I can guess exactly which pie 'the very predictable one' will choose from the school's fund raising [pie] brochure, she astounds me with,

"Banana Cream Pie".

To which my reply was...

"What???? Out of the 15 choices, I would not have guessed you would pick that. Good thing I didn't bet the ranch on that one! "

Hey, ya never know. Flo passed up chocolate cream, apple caramel nut, strawberry rhubarb, fruits of the forest, peach, and 10 others.

What did we order?

The banana cream pie...cause why ask someone's opinion if then you either talk them out of it... or override their choice.

It's just not right!

Name that...

Oh, the seasons...they are a'changing! Temperatures are cooler, leaves are bursting into vibrant colors, and autumn decorations are popping up on lawns and porches everywhere. Recently, we made a quick trip to BJ"s Warehouse. While I quickly gathered the couple of items that we needed, Mom was wheeled around to see what looked interesting. Half -moon cookies dove into the cart and a painted pumpkin was adopted from a display of decorated faces.

"Give it a name, Flo."

[That's what happens when you live with a retired elementary teacher with a very active imagination.]

"How about....Dolly??" she said.

Now, if you are smarter than the average bear, you have already figured out that a spirited Carol Channing imitation of 'Hello Dolly' resonated throughout the living room. Fun, fun, fun.

Giving the pumpkin a name reminds me of the time my son was a senior in high school and he had to write three essays about King Henry. While shopping for some 'Cliff Notes' help, there were six foot house plants on sale that were calling my name. When I read the tag describing the necessary light and water care , it was identified as an Imperial Palm. Logic dictated 'King Henry' was an appropriate name. A couple of years later, I decided that it would be healthier in my classroom rather than my house, and so King Henry audited my fifth grade with the rest of my students. I did, however, change the name to 'Shakespeare' because the janitor's name was Henry and I certainly didn't want him to think I named a plant after/for him!!

Check out this hedge bush shaped into a seven foot green bear who's holding a flower high in the air. You just have to smile as you drive by it! Creative sculpting! I love it!

I'm thinking the bear needs a name, too.

And the beat goes on!

And the beat goes on...
Another load of 'stuff' has left the premises. Wahoo!The local newspaper shared the news that there was going to be an appliance recycling/disposal event on Saturday from 9AM-1 PM. I am proud to announce that my garage got bigger yesterday morning! The eviction list included:

an air conditioner, a microwave oven , a computer monitor and printer, a television, and the hated : 'Phones don't work/last the way they used to'... collection known as 'The Phone Cemetery'!!!
It was a great feeling to get rid of them and know that the hazardous parts of the air conditioner [Freon?], and TV[terrible programming...kidding] would be taken care of in a way that doesn't contaminate the environment.

Now, if we could just get people to understand that the cocktail of chemicals delivered to keep their lawns looking green and plush...ultimately affects all of us!!!

Shots, shots, Hit Me With Your Best Shot...

The week: News in Review Good news...bad news!

My trip to the dentist was a scheduled one to address a tooth on its last root.
Hello ....king me! That would be a stunning $975 crown!! Less 5% if paid by cash or check. Credit card companies charge the dentist to use their services, and so the office passes it along to those who use it. In my case that is would be $48 less, and as a result, my home equity line will go up by $900 more !! More or less...less is more....

The hardest part was the Novocaine which I think...mind over matter...for a matter of [peace of] mind because I knew there'd be a whole lot of drilling. I had brought my Ipod and ear buds which proved to be a decent distraction in trusting the Novocaine's effectiveness. A temporary crown now rests in place for a couple of weeks 'til...Dah-da-da-Dah!!! The official coronation. Oh yeah...the good news? The tooth that I had lost a piece of while eating some trail mix the week before was THE tooth in question. I said to the dentist,

"That is good news. Hey! I wanted to chip in and make your job a little bit easier!! "

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On my way home, I stopped by one of the schools where I taught and dropped off some gladiolas. I wanted to see a couple of people for sure as well as others. In the parking lot, I recognized a parent of a student that I had taught many years ago. [Geez! Pretty amazing when you recognize the parents, too! That's the 'ole right brain's snapshot ] .
When I asked her to relay my 'hello', she said,
"He remembers you! He used to tip/rock on the back legs of his chair and you took his chair away!!"
Ooof! I didn't see that one coming!!

I have a pretty clear conscience relative to leaving bad memories with the kids and so I quipped, "Would you have preferred a concussion? And he must have had many warnings to lose that chair for just about 5-10 minutes!!"

We laughed about it, but I was thinking 'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...are ya kidding me?'

I had a good time walking around the building and seeing familiar faces as well as those of new people. When I tracked down the one person who I really wanted to connect with, she asked if I had mental telepathy because she was talking about me that morning. Kindred spirits.

In the lunch room when I related my conversation with the parent, this 'kindred spirit' said,

"I remember when I started working in the district, there was a PARP [Parents as Reading Partners] campaign going on, and there was a [relatively unstable] kid who wouldn't be able to reach whatever goal had been set to be a part of the ice cream sundae party due to 'circumstances beyond his control.' I was asked to let this kid read to me because she told me that when he was eighteen years old he'd come back and shoot her because he didn't get to go to the ice cream party!!!"

I'd prefer to think my intentions were more altruistic!! Really!!

While this story didn't totally surprise me, this situation was also one that I had forgotten. Within my final years of teaching, there was a message written on the playground equipment about 'Beware of something [bad]happening on Sept 31'. Even though we knew that there were only 30 days in September, it still made you think.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When we took Flo to the doctor as a follow up to the last visit, I called ahead to ask if flu shots were available. Whoever answered the phone informed me that,

"Yes we have them, but there are 3 clinics set up for that purpose. You will have to get it then."

I could not believe the ridiculousness of this and stated[nicely],

"What? I have to bring my 98 year old mother who is in a wheelchair back at another time to wait in line for a flu shot when she is coming in today and you have them there? I am not one to 'shoot the messenger', so thank you for the info." And I hung up.

As Flo's actual visit was concluding, I asked the [wonderful] physician's assistant who inquired..."Anything else?"about the possibility of a flu shot. Her answer was,

"Absolutely! And one for you, too!"

In my head as I checked out at the desk, I was thinking...NAH-nah-nah-NAH-nah!!

That wouldn't have accomplished anything positive, and so I smiled a big smile, and left.

And there you have it.

Shots of Novocaine, a flu shot, parental shots from the past, my arthritis shot...

I think there's only one shot left to be had....that would be the one in a 'Tequila Sunrise'!!!

Care to join me?

Omm-mmm!

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Technology has certainly come screeching into society in a very big way! Confident people immediately embraced it, children were taught computer skills in school, and those resistant to change refused to acknowledge it was here to stay. A select group was brought along kicking and screaming. In that last category and taking one step at a time...is my brother who has now officially yelled out , "UNCLE!!!"

About fifteen years ago, I remember him patronizing my 'Let me show you how easy 'emailing' can be with a positive attitude'... watching him type an email...against his will...

"I don't know exactly why I have to type this message because telephones are a terrific way to communicate. But, here it goes."

Now he emails, texts messages on his cell phone, and ....are ya ready for this???

Yikes!!! HE SKYPES!!!
My computer has had a dormant skype camera covered by a bandaid because I really had no use for it. And then my niece [his youngest child] went to Ireland for the first semester of college, and suddenly he had a new laptop with skype, learned how to use it, and began bugging the Bejesus out of me to : Get with the program!!
This was turnabout fair play!!!

As he was enroute this past Labor Day weekend to my house to visit Mom, I downloaded skype and removed the bandaid...Ouch!! Then when he began his promo, I said,

"Already done and ready to go!!"

I think I may have detected a mental 'victory dance' as he smiled, "Really!!??"

The kinks have been ironed out, [translation: I eventually located the button that turned my side of the camera on.] And let me add that the skype camera is not necessarily the most flattering portrayal of my face and chin...[ I see chins...]
Then I put the computer on Flo's lap, and her eyes got huge, and she had the 'deer in the headlights look'. She didn't know what to make of it, or what to do. This morning when I was at MOW [Meals on Wheels], Tessie said it best with,

"Think about the changes that she has seen in her 98 years. It must be unbelievable to her!!"

Fast forward to today:

Mom woke up at 6:30 wide-eyed, talkative, and in altered states.

She had no fear or hesitation as she skyped with my brother, and then chatted with the smiling, familiar faces in his office, too. She has known them for 25 years and hasn't seen them since she moved to NY three years ago. Things began churning in 'the windmills of my mind'.

"Hey! How about rounding up the biddies for a skype with Flo? They could drive to your office and we can reconnect a whole bunch of smiles!!"

Oh boy...The barn door was open.

I have learned to be careful what you wish for a couple of times.

I have always wanted to live by the water. When I bought my house, I was happy about the football-sized play area [for my son and his friends] across the creek. The creek! I do live by the water.

Then I was wishing for a companion of sorts when my son went off to college and I was suddenly feeling the quiet of living alone.

And an amazing rescue dog showed up needing a new home. Gracie!!

And I thought to myself...Perhaps I need to be clearer about what I wish for, 'cause I kind of meant someone to hold a conversation with and share laughs and stuff...

Presto!! My mother moved in with me!!

I rest my case. Be very, very careful in what you wish for...I know that I am!

And I'll bet that's what my brother is thinking as he is shaking his head and setting up Flo's skype schedule.

Do you think he is wishing that the bandaid was still there??

Nah!!!

Gone is gone.

Most likely, people will remember many details from 9/11. There was the overwhelming sadness, along with the powerful element of shock. I , to this day nine years later, cannot believe that the two towers are gone...totally demolished, and the far reaching effects of how many lives were forever changed. Friends of grieving people... ache for the pain that they see and hear because it is hard to witness sadness.

Thursday night I received a phone call from a very good friend whose voice I didn't even recognize. She was close to incoherent as she managed to get the words out that her father had passed away in his sleep. Her [out of state] parents had just been here for a two week visit, which included a short vacation with their daughter before the new school year began. Her dad was looking forward to getting home, and the fishing trip he had planned. He went on that fishing trip. The most obvious thought seems to be that for her dad...well, he died while on a fishing trip [his personal refuge] and while he slept. You really couldn't ask for a more peaceful transition.

For those who love him and will miss him terribly, it hits hard and it hurts. His wife, daughter and son, grandson, relatives and friends will always remember him as a good man...a good friend.

The loved ones of those who died on 9/11 remember the shock of its occurrence, and the sadness that it brought to so many people. God bless them and God help anyone grieving the loss of a loved one. Grief is painful.

Call and/or hug your loved ones. Help anyone you can through a bad time. It reminds me of a saying that my family is particularly sensitive to : Always leave home with loving words for they may be the last.

And there you have it: My thoughts for today.

Peace be with us...everyone...everywhere.

Partners in Crime

The first photo is from three years ago[2007] when Flo was in Green Acres Nursing Home[NJ] after her stroke. Mom and Grace were already acquainted from Flo's previous trips to my house[NY]. I brought Grace to the nursing home and she was a hit with many residents and brought big smiles.
The second photo on the right side shows a current[2010] typical morning. Look closely at the center of the picture where [sleeping]Mom's hand rests on [sleeping]Gracie's body. As soon as Grace detects a sound or motion from the other side of the room, she zooms from my bed to hers and licks her hand...occassionally her face, too. I yell out, "Grace, NO licking!!"
Then she will retreat to the bottom of the bed, and they both drift back to sleep for a bit...never out of touch, though.
Dressed and ready to roll...


The gladiola flower, peach colored and huge[!] on Mom's shoulder prompted today's photo. I called Grace to join the 'Kodak moment', and this is what I got.

What do you suppose Flo is whispering in her ear?
Grace never tells!!

My Life Has Been a Tapestry [Carol King]

I am trying to chip away at the multitude of 'things' that occupy my space with me. From gathering clothes that I can pass along...to throwing out or giving away stuff that doesn't fit into a 'recycling frame of mind', little by little I am making progress. Today was the day to accept the fact that VCR Tapes are in reality soon to be the dinosaurs of the entertainment industry. I have many, many recorded movies[some from HBO] that span 30 years. Often there were 2 or 3 movies on a tape [Lady and the Tramp, The Flight of the Navigator, Die Hard], cartoon specials [ It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, Garfield, Disney specials], sitcoms [Wonder Years, Alf, Perfect Strangers], evening TV programming[LA Law, X Files, Cheers] beginning from time before my son was a little kid, all the way through to now especially since the emergence of DVD and DVR capabilities! It was like my life passing in front of me in the form of the TV and Movies that played a part in life. The examples I listed are merely a sampling of the many titles that I taped for my son [in the 18 years before he left for college], for Flo when she would travel to NY to visit us[her Soaps], and... for me to watch when I wouldn't fall asleep after a long day at work.

The 40 or so [homemade] tapes really needed to go. I kept the ones that were a professional store bought tape of some of my favorites like...Tootsie, The Wizard of Oz, A Few Good Men, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles....etc. and no...that last one was not for me!!!

Well, I did it, and they have gone to the great beyond of 'the dinosaur dumpster'.

Where the 8 track tapes reside...Anyone remember them?

Hummingbird Charades

My mom, brother, and I have been watching the hummingbird feeder that is attached to the picture window, and it is a busy, busy spot!! They are so small that it is amazing to me how these birds can migrate such a distance. This morning, one of them hovered mid-air looking directly at me moving ever so slightly as it moved in front of each of the 9 [tic-tac-toe ] window panes for about 20 seconds. Awesome!

The very old joke that goes:
You know why they're called hummingbirds?

Because they forgot the words! [Groan..nn]

Picture me facing this 'lil bird saying, "What's the matter girl? Is Timmy in the well?"

So...thinking that maybe some new sweetened water was the message, I cleaned their feeder and changed the water. I will miss the hummers.
Too bad the squirrels don't migrate!!

On to the good news...

It has been a tremendoulsy sweet year for peaches. The bestest of the best! I even snuck a bag of 'country farmer's market peaches' into my visiting brother's car when he wasn't looking for a juicy surprise after that 5 hour drive.

And, I am pleased to announce that....

At last...there is a bud on the gardenia plant that we have been nurturing all season. Wahoo! I hope it blooms. It looks pretty healthy! It is Flo's favorite, and we've been impatiently giving that plant some 'not so subliminal messages' to 'FLOWER' ...COME ON...FLOWER!

And finally...

On this Labor Day weekend, I would like to thank all of the many, varied, and unusual laborers who help us in various ways. Farmers, nurses, medics, secretaries, scientists, plumbers, electricians, construction workers, trash collectors, comedians, song writers, dancers, [good news] reporters, politicians [who are working for the general good and not their own personal pension], fire wo/men, police officers, cooks, teachers, title searchers, caretakers, our military and their families,

veterinarians, volunteers.... The Geek Squad!!!

Any other 'laborers' that you would add to my general list whose work you would miss?

Buy 1 Get 1 free...But Wait!!

My last 15 minutes were spent on the telephone with a 'Pasta N More' customer service representative who did speak English but with a heavy '?[I don't know what]?'accent...not that there's anything wrong with that! I knew it from the very second I decided to place the order by calling 1-800-You're a Fool' that somehow it would NOT be exactly as it said in the commercial. And yes,I figured beforehand that 'just pay separate shipping and handling' was going to bite me in the butt.

So...'nuf said...when you hear, "But wait!"

Wait until hell freezes over...

Even if they offer you a super duper bonus...but wait...they'll include land in Florida...and order in the next 15 minutes and you'll receive the keys to Fort Knox...AND included is free airfare to the first 100 callers who can prove that they are either unconscious or 'stupider than stupid!!'...or both! [Yes, I know that grammatically there is no such thing as 'stupider', but I just love the way it sounds.]

Be back before ya even realize that I'm gone...I am having my head examined.

Now, can I interest anyone in a trio of ruby slippers?

[Just pay separate shipping and handling for the spare slipper.]