Sweet Flo

My mom's favorite flower:  Gardenia
So many of my fellow bloggers have accompanied me on the journey when Florence came to live with me in 2007 after her stroke.  There were lots of good times and some occasional bumps in the road. 
Well, no more bumps for Mom.  On Sunday as I held her hand and brushed her hair, she joined the many family and friends awaiting her arrival in heaven.  I had asked her to send me some signs that she was still around me, and this gardenia was the first one.  When I left my house on Sunday to be with her, this flower was a closed bud hardly ready to begin to bloom. When I returned, it had flowered. 
While I can't quite grasp life without her, I am certain that she is in a very peaceful place hugging people she hasn't seen for years.  At 102 years old, she had watched many family members and friends precede her on that journey into the great beyond. I kept telling her that they were all preparing a big party for her arrival, and hadn't found a space quite big enough to accommodate the crowd.
Mom was kind, thoughtful, and a beautiful person much loved by all who met her in those 102.5 years.
Unforgettable.  God bless her and keep her safe.

Retro Blue

While watching Good Morning America's special deals segment, a POP Blue Tooth Retro handset was advertised for a 50% savings at   'nativeunion.com'.  I could immediately see how it would be a good device for anyone who had difficulty hearing a conversation on a cell phone.  It was easy to activate which basically means that I could do it without any help!!  I brought it with me when visiting my mom.  When she was in an 'awake state of mind', I pressed in the phone number on my cell phone to call my brother and handed her the [cordless] Retro receiver.  Since it looked like the normal phone receiver from her past, the conversation flowed easily.  [without the usual cell phone prompting, which used to be something like this...
" I'll hold the phone, Mom, and you just concentrate on talking."
And if the ear part was 'spot on....the 6 dots that you talk into never lined up.]

This is Flo on a good day reconnecting with her biddies in NJ...and being able to hear well enough to recognize the voices of her old friends.
What fun to watch.!!  And listen in on!!
"Oh, FLORENCE!! It is so good to hear your voice and your laugh.  You made my day!!"
We also called 'HoneyBunny' who used to live next door to her ,and then Gladys who was Mom's Atlantic City partner in crime. Haha.
It was effortless and successful.

What a great device.  Easy to use, eliminates up to 96% of the radiation compared to direct use of a mobile phone, and it cost me $25.00 since it was half price for that day. [Don't forget 'Retailmenot.com' for the possibility there might be a coupon code to save some money at 'nativeunion'].
Sitting in my living room, I have perched it on my shoulder as I did years ago....chatting up a storm.
Priceless.

.

And the New Year began...

I watched the countdown and really enjoyed the flashbacks to American Bandstand's career launching moments. At 12 o'clock, everyone yelled 'Happy New Year'!! And I climbed in between the sheets.  Ahhhh!
At 1; 15, the phone rang and it was Mom's Nursing Home telling me that Flo had fallen out of bed..[huh???] and they were sending her by ambulance to the ER 'cause they thought she needed a stitch or two. Really?
Who can you call at 1;30 AM and ask to accompany you to the ER on New Year's Eve and maintain a positive mood, too?   I called my friend and Flo's Eucharistic Minister, Helen.  She was so kind and helpful and funny.
The CAT Scan showed a [small] bleed in the brain and so they wanted to send her to Syr or Roch for better care.  So I got to do another ambulance ride and we pulled into the ER at 5;30 ish to see a very busy space occupied by patients and policemen.  I asked the staff innocently.
'How are you doing?'
'It's New Year's Eve in the ER....How do you think we are doing?'
She turned to her fellow worker and said, 'Gunshot #6 is on its way.'
I suddenly thought...there have to be angry people out there that want to even the score...and there was the possibility of imminent danger.  OMG!!  Am I going out in the midst of gunfire??
They kept Mom overnight for observation and when she was settled in a 'state of the art' room in the neurology wing, I went home.  More stories...next post...Flo is the Energizer Bunny!!!

 We are practicing with the birthday girl for Wednesday when she hears the words,
"Will the amazing person celebrating her 101st birthday...please stand up!!!"

Ta da!

 Shuffling off to Buffalo for the weekend...
Going to reconnect with good friends and have some dinner at The Cheesecake Factory.
Going to spend some time with my favorite 'broadcaster' as he hosts a 'gala' and I get to eat, drink, and be gambling a bit.
Hopefully will get to see 'Lincoln' at the movies.

Mom is out of the hospital and getting some rehab in a facility that seems better than many that I have seen.  Over the five year span that she has been a fellow lefty and New Yorker, we must be on Plan M  by now.
Onward we go.

Why Not?

Most of the time when I am working on the computer, I don't pay much attention to the adds that either pop up or are listed on the side bar... until one appeared detailing a sale on Crocs [shoes]. While Crocs are not aesthetically pleasing, they are very comfortable for my feet which may not look like the average foot.  So I went to their website and clicked on my size and 'sale' and bought three pairs in the process.  They arrived by way of my friendly UPS driver. 
 I opened the cardboard package and placed them on the floor, and like a moth to a bright light, my mom spotted the 'red ones' and lit up with excitement.  I knew they were probably her size, too, so I brought them to her and placed them on her feet. 
Da-da-da-da...!  Watch out Cinderella 'cause you're not getting them off her feet!~
Florence was a happy camper, and it was certainly 'love at first sight'!
Fast forward a month or so and from the darkness in the midde of the night, I hear her whisper,
RED SHOES'.
"What did you say, Mom?"
"Red shoes...do we have red shoes?
"Yes, we do."
A slight pause followed by.
"When might they be available?"
"How 'bout tomorrow morning...or would you like them now?"
"Really?...That's a possibility?"
"Why not? I said.

So I got out of bed, and at 4:30 AM, placed the red shoes on "The Queen Mum"  and rolled back the blankets at the bottom of her bed so that she could easily see them.
Great big smiles and "Thank You!"
Then lights out and back to sleep ...[I hope]
Fifteen minutes later, she says politely.
"My feet hurt!!"
So, I get back up and remove them from her feet.  And I placed them on her bed beside her so that she knew they were nearby.  There was a certain comfort in just having them 'near'.

I did take pictures and then climbed back in bed.

As a strange twist of fate, Florence was cursed with a case of 'gout' a week later in a toe...
Must be why those famous red shoes suddenly hurt and we didn't realize why at that  time.
So until that toe calms done, we must have patience 'til we can...

"Put on your red shoes, Mama. 'cause we're going out tonight!!"

Decisions....

It was 5 years ago on April 15th that my mom had the stroke that was to change life as we knew it then.  She has lived with me for four and a half years with the help of some pretty amazing, caring people. Flo's pleasant disposition [most of the time] and the fact that she knew when she needed a ride to the bathroom[ that in itself was majorly important]  made the situation a good one. 

Well, Flo crested that 100 year old hill and has developed a new pattern in life where she is awake for two days [that includes the night hours] and then crashes for a two day sleep [which includes the daytime hours].  I could manage the sleeping part, but the 48 hours of ' awake with an agenda'  were taking their toll on everyone. 
After realizing that this was happening quite regularly, the handwriting was definitely on the wall [and Flo often thought she saw writing on the wall!]  I live by the message of The Serenity Prayer, and after accepting the things that I could not change, and I  changed the things I could.. now I must acknowledge that last part which is...to have the wisdow to know the difference. 

So, tomorrow 'Sweet Flo' as she was known on the third floor during the recent  respit stay at a local nursing home is now checking in as a resident.  Reality is hard to deal with sometimes.  I remind myself that it is a change in arrangements and Gracie [ dog extraordinaire] and I will be visiting often with lots of hugs and kisses. 
And there you have it.
Rip Van Winkle will be checking into a ' room at the inn', and I will be taking my turn at the Rip Van Winkle experience.
More stories to follow, I'm sure. After my long winter's nap.zzzzzz.

A Teacher [ Look Back] Moment...

On Monday, we took my mom to the doctor as a preventative measure when all of her cold symptoms started the 'bronchitis is next' syndrome. While we were in the room awaiting the arrival of the doctor, I found myself trying to occupy her mind for the 5-10 minutes that I knew we would be waiting.  Without even thinking, I began to 'interview her' with questions the way that I did in the classroom.  The kids always loved it, and since there was always the 'pass on that one' option, it was no stress entertainment while passing some time.  Here are [100 year old] Flo's answers:
a favorite flower: a rose
a favorite color: pink
a song title:  Star Spangled Banner
a movie star: Clara Bo
a singer: Enrico Caruso...[Be My Love!!!}
good food: spaghetti and meatballs
a person [living OR already passed] with whom you would like to have lunch with/ talk with: probably my mother
three words that describe you: nice, kind, polite
if you could go anywhere in the world: heaven [sigh~]

I had more prompts in my head, and then...there appeared the doc.  The whole scenario reminded me of former times interacting with the kids and I kind of had a twinge where I missed it...the fun parts of the classroom and the kids.  Funny how sometimes 100 is a lot like 10.

A generic question for you:
If you could trade places with someone for a day...who might that be and why?

Try Something New?

Oh..to experience something that causes you to laugh out loud is such fun.  To be able to laugh again at a later time by merely 'reflecting back' on the occasion is a joy.
Quick background:  My mom, Florence, is 100 years old and lives with me.  Four years ago following a stroke that majorly affected her right side, Mom has joined the lefties and is pretty good at maneuvering forks and spoons.  St Nic is a wonderful caregiver [sometimes affectionately referred to as 'What's her Name?"] who helps us in many ways, and breakfast is one of them. Florence has always valued that first meal of the day, and yet she is not among the daring who will try tasting new things.  Here we go:
We are gathered at the table this morning.  Nic and I are at the ends and Flo, in her wheelchair, is rolled up to the other side that is between us. Flo has her 'little bit' of cereal with fruit and had declared that she couldn't eat any more. Nic was finishing her toast and  I had mixed together Greek yogurt, fresh blueberries, and some cereal for a bit of crunch.  It was a lumpy, bumpy, purple undefinable nutritious substance...my breakfast.
Knowing full well what Mom's response would be, I whispered to Nic,
"Watch this."
I scooped out a spoonful of my breakfast delight and headed it in my mom's direction,
"Mom, how 'bout tasting some of this?"
In a heartbeat, she made an indescribable panicked face.  Simultaneously, she straightened and auto-locked her knees as she hit the escape hatch to begin to slide off the wheelchair heading for under the table.
Nic and I had to jump up to thwart Mom's exit drill.  We expected the 'face', but underestimated that sweet- mannered 100 year-old's adrenaline rush.  There was no way she was going to have anything to do with...what the heck was that?
Safety established, we were blessed with hysterical laughter...again...and again. It was extremely funny. 
And there you have it...unscripted and delightful entertainment.
Thanks, Florence. 
You are too funny.

Today's the Day!

The judges have their scores for Florence.....Sweet!

Put those 0's together and what have you got?
Bippidy-Boppidy-Boo!   100!

A Bit of a Bumpy Ride

Life can be challenging as each day has its ups and downs...hills and valleys...good days and difficult ones. After three and a half years, it seems as if Flo is noticibly a bit more confused. The worst part is that she has it in her head that she hasn't seen her daughter, Mare, in more than a week. And it has her very upset. I can be sitting directly opposite her in a chair, and the conversation is... "Do you know where Mare is? I haven't talked with her in quite a while. Could you give me her phone number so I can call her?"
"Mom, I am Mare, and I'm sitting right here."
"No, I mean my daughter, Mare. You are Mare, but not my daughter Mare."

Five minutes later, she will pick up the phone and want to make a call [to her daughter], and is unsuccessful and frustrated. And this conversation has been going on for days. It's like my personal version of 'Where's Waldo'? and the movie 'Groundhog Day'!!

I have become the master of distraction and pretty adept at changing the subject.

Good times have also been happening. My son and his girlfriend came into town, and did yardwork and surprise purchasing of flowers for my deck planters, and landscaped a raised bed that was empty. It was wonderful! And my grandpup, Hank, managed to stand up on the kitchen counter and do a taste test of the coconut bundt cake that they had brought!! Kind of funny when you are an observer and not the enforcer!

I am back on my meds for two weeks now, and hopefully will continue to be functioning better as each day goes by.

But the whole 'confused Mom' thing stays the main focus and is both frustrating and sad. Thank God for St Nic [ caregiver extraordinaire] because she is very good for both of us.

It would be a tremendous blessing if tomorrow when Mom wakes up...her first words are not,

"Does anybody know where Mare is?"

I've got my fingers crossed. Well, not literally...

Yikes!

Quite the series of events happened this week in my little corner of the world!! Nothing life threatening or comparable to real problems...inconveniences that were annoyingly timely. First of all, at the onset of the 95 degree weather...the air conditioning in my car quit. For many people, this would not be a huge problem. I contemplated calling 911 in anticipation of my passing out because I feel the heat more than anyone else that I know. So to answer the question,
"How hot did it get last week?"

Try NOT turning on the air in your car even for just one errand, and you will get a better appreciation.

Today, Saturday, my cable TV box decided to quit. Yes, it is on a weekend, of course! After about 3 attempts of trying to reboot it, along with a new signal sent magically through the air waves by cablevision....a house call is now scheduled to fix the problem.
And my mom who never allowed us as kids to use the "B" word [that would be 'bored'] said,

"Is there anything to do besides sit here and look out the window?"
I immediately thought...Holy mackeral...this could be a long and bumpy night!!

"Are you saying that you are kind of ...bored...Mom?"

"I think so...Yes, I am!"

I was immediately trying to spin a solution to that problem.

I know better than to ask the question, 'What else could happen?'

Because...there was the dog directly in front of me with her huge brown 'laser beam' eyes staring at me and saying,

"I hear thunder in the distance. You know that I will be in altered states before you can say..."
Lord have mercy!!

Well, 'the old and the restless' are now both fast asleep no longer bored and/or scared. What a good idea...I think I will join them....ZZZZZZZ~

The Windmills of my Mind...

You just don't know how things will go. You may be willing to 'bet the ranch' because of a preponderance of evidence, or past experience. My mom is the classic example of this.

She is a 99 1/2 year old tapestry of emotions and experiences who travels in and out of altered states, hibernation, and then...total sanity.

In bed at 8 PM last night, I think I knew that she wasn't necessarily one deep breath away from a snore. She can fool ya, though! The wee small hours of the morning brought thunder, rain, and a dog... gone wild. The situation went back and forth between the trembling dog, the wide-eyed, blue-eyed beauty, and the caretaker off of her arthritis meds for 6 weeks with a pair of 'pretty annoyed' knees. [That would be me.] Flo, by nature, can be a clock watcher...We saw 2AM and 330AM, and after a couple of hours that I thought there had been some sleep happening...the boom was lowered.

"What time is it?",

"Mom, it is the middle of the night."

At 6 AM, I hear from the corner..."This is ridiculous!!"

"What is that?" I asked.

"Staying in this bed any longer!" Tone of voice: not a happy camper...downright snarky.

I thought to myself that it was going to be a long day! Ooph!

Lord help me!

After a trip to the bathroom, some clothes, some food, and a dog on her lap...Flo's personality changed into a very alert, yet pleasant companion for the day.

Who'd a thunk that was going to happen?

We have laughed, birdwatched, and Flo remarked,

"That hummingbird has been to the feeder so many times that I am flabbergasted!"
OMG!

And a bit later I reminded her of something that she had said and evidently I didn't get it right because she said,

"If that's the case, I must issue a retraction!"

Then when giving her a couple of pills...

"Are these mine?"

"Well, of course Flo, I wouldn't be giving you MY pills!!"

To which she looked up, smiled, and responded,

"One never knows...do one?"

Some days, Mom sleeps most of the day and there is no keeping those peepers open.

Today, they have not closed for a second.

It's a rainy Sunday [when I don't have any help] which easily could have been an unpleasant combination.We just had popcorn and rootbeer soda. I am amazed at the very close relationship that exists on some days where Flo remembers unbelievable things, uses big words, and is easy to hang out with as we laugh about stuff. She is hoping that her 'person' on Survivor wins her money tonight. I hope so, too.

But more than that I would like a thunderfree night of peaceful sleep!

Does this look like the face of someone who is the least bit tired?

Whoa there!!

It is 2:02 AM and I am in awe of all that is occurring simultaneously in my little corner of the world. Here are some of the highlights in random order:

Mom is awake and not quite understanding that it is the 'middle of the night.'

It is raining, thundering, and lightening. One of the two skylights in my bedroom needs a new seal. It has been ordered by the roof man that I called to figure out the problem. In very windy rainy weather, it is a very, very slow drip . So, at the moment, the driving rain has joined us just a 'lil bit' in the dark. The creek which I can hear outside my bedroom window has already joined the grassy area on its sides more than once in the past 2 days.

The dog is inconsolable in thunder and lightening. She paces, and stands as a sentinel at the side of my bed, and stares at me. She has already tried to get inside of my pocketbook which was on the floor. I wish that I could help her, but I cannot fix this problem. She is licking Flo's hand right now.

I am off my arthritis meds, and as a result, there are body parts that are screaming.

A tornado watch was just issued for my county until 2:53 AM...I'm thinking the dog will exhibit even worse behavior. Obviously, I am hoping the actual tornado does not materialize.

It is warm in the bedroom, and I have the 2 windows open, and the ceiling fan on medium. Flo just announced that her head is sweating. Really? To which I reply.

"I totally understand this...Let us remember who is the first one to break out in a sweat....That would be me!!"

If it were 24 hours later, I could be watching the Royal Wedding Hoopla for entertainment. I really don't care about this event, but it would be entertaining at the very least. I am stuck with Judge Pirro. The Good Lord has scheduled $250 leather pocketbooks on QVC and thankfully, there will not be one in my future. Had it been plants and flowers, I would have been in trouble.

Well, the battery on my laptop is running low, and I am not going to plug it in while in the midst of all this drama...I am thinking that the way things are going right now, Lightning would connect Point A to Point Me...

What a re'volt'ing development that would be!!!

The Happy Couple

Here they are! The birther and the birthee!

O Happy Day! It was April 10, 19** when Florence gave birth to her first child [and my brother] Paul.

He was here for the weekend to share their day together, as they have 'known each other' longer than anyone else on the planet. Communication has always been a priority with Mom and her kids. When Paul was in the Air Force, he served three years in Texas and one year in Greenland. Flo was an executive secretary and often sent either a typed or handwritten note probably four times a week as a habit. They talk by phone a couple of times a day sharing news, jokes, and rare moments in time. Mom listens attentively and has given cause for some hearty laughter...like the time she said to him...

"I don't know what it is that you were talking about, but it was good!!!"

He is now 'on the road again' driving the five hour return trip. A devoted son and friend, they have a bond like no other. So, Happy BIRTHday...to Flo and Paul. Wahoo for you!!

Day 3...waiting to exhale...

My day started at 5 AM when I heard strange sleeping sounds coming from Flo. Thinking that maybe she was having a bad dream, I went to her bedside to try to wake her up. Well, she must have been in one of her 'spells' and I have learned over time that it is less stressful for her if she awakens on her own. It is counterproductive to get loud calling her name. I know this. So I turned on the TV, and news was breaking about the earthquake in Japan with tsunami discussions happening as to when and where. Good Lord...I thought about my cyber friends in Hawaii as well as those on the west coast of the mainland. Exhale...ohmmm.~!

I volunteered at the hospital from 11 to 1:30, and when I got home, Nic said that Flo had another occurrence...another spell? And in the afternoon...a third time when I couldn't bring her into the real world. Kind of scary, yet it has happened before. [2 trips to the ER in the past]

Then, I asked her if she wanted a drink. She said yes, and she had a healthy amount of cranberry juice followed by a small dish of beef goulash and rice pudding topped with an Oreo cookie. I'm thinking...okay Flo! She went to bed at 7 PM. Exhale...ohmmm.

Then I watched Syracuse Univ play UConn at Madison Square Garden in the Big East Tournament at 7 PM. It ended in a tie, and here we go again...overtime! Two years ago, these very same two teams played a game that lasted 3 hours for 6....that is 'SIX' overtimes and SU finally won at 1:30 in the morning. Tonight UConn won this time after only one overtime.. What a game, and I knew my son was in the crowd, and my brother in NJ and I were texting back and forth, and Facebook friends were commenting as the game went on. Whew! Waiting to exhale...ohmmmm!

I am pooped. I will check on Mom, and then I am hopping into bed.

Waiting to exhale. Ohmmmm.

Night-All!

ZZ''ZZZ'Z'Z'Z'Z'Z'Z

Melo!

You are looking at Melo's sweetest fan. She has followed his smile from the time he played basketball for Syracuse University and the team won the NCAA Championship. Flo has been in the Carrier Dome and now that he is back in New York shooting 3 pointers with the New York Knicks, we will see more of his games on TV.

My brother and nephew sent Melo's Knicks shirt in the mail, and it was a perfect surprise for the Matriarch of Carmelo Anthony's Fan Club. It's a perfect gift, a perfect fit, and...

"Let the games begin!

Ripley's Believe It...or Not!

A phone call this morning from my brother :

"Hey! Let me tell you what Mom just received in the mail today.

It's a form to fill out....for jury duty!!"

Now...Flo is naturally exempted by nature of the fact that she is over the age of seventy-five. Let's see... jury duty at the age of 99!

One can only contemplate some of the possible scenarios that might occur when juror #9 can't remember where she is...what did you say?...will you have cookies during the recess?...sorry, I must have nodded off and didn't hear you...

The form was sent back and stated that Flo would not be attending! She is pleasantly out of town where the drama consists of watching the birds and eating 'half moon' cookies!

Jury duty?? Nah-h...not now. Maybe next time!

Steel Magnolias Pt 2

It was karma. Unscripted, unedited, and utterly therapeutic. This morning's entertainment was a one of a kind , truly unique experience that most likely occurred because the planets lined up in some far out way. My hairdresser of 35+ years has also been my mom's 'wizard of choice' from the time that she began to visit me from out of state. It was often a source of amusement that her 300 mile trip to NY was for a perm...and, oh yeah..a visit to her daughter.

A surprise phone call offered up a hair appointment cancellation to give Flo her perm on Saturday at 10:45. The good people who bump her wheelchair up the 9 stairs to the second floor could be there...and St Nic was available to help transfer Mom from wheelchair to shampoo chair ..life was good. The weather was very cooperative. Also, I knew that my good friend [of 30 years] Cathy had an appointment for a color at 11:00. Things come in threes: Then the 10:00 appointment cancelled, and I was able to take it instead of my next Thursday time! We were the only people in the shop. The owner of the business had come to America from Italy aboard the AndreaDoria Ship when she was sixteen years old. She has worked since then, and owns the scissors [as well as the shop] that coifs the hair of many, many faithful customers.

She started with Flo, and while the perm was underway, she started my color. Then Cathy got there, and we were a rotation of three customers playing 'musical chairs' and laughing as the entertainment came from reminiscing about stories of longtime friends.

When the radio played the song, 'Let There Be Peace On Earth', I shared the story about making a tape of Mom's favorite songs. While taping this song, Cathy played the flute, and it was beautiful. I decided to add a personal touch and sang the words in the second verse. When the next to last line rose to a note that was out of my range, and I went for it anyway....and everything stopped except for the hysterical laughter that followed which remains indescribable.

The topic changed to Christmas trees, and the #1 story immediately surfaced. Cathy and I taught together, and as life played out, I became a single mom of one boy and she of her three boys. The kids were 10, 9, 6, and 3 and they all became brothers, friends, and family. We piled into the van in the pursuit of cutting down a Christmas tree while putting forth our best festive effort. As we entered the tree farm, on the very perimeter of the acres of trees, the three year old immediately embraced the first tree which can best be described as 'The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree'. It had about three branches and was the same height as this excited little three year old. This was the tree!! He cried and threw himself on the ground when the boys suggested that we continue to look at other trees. A favorable plan was hatched which allowed us to continue. It was a priceless moment that is told as often as The Charlie Brown Story.

Two hours flew by as our hair got shorter and our laugh lines got longer. It was the definition of a good time. Relaxing and fun.

You couldn't plan something like that as it was many years in the making.

We had all came from different places with an age span that ranged from age 27 to 99 years old. It was great!