Oh, where oh where has my little ???gone?

I have come to the conclusion that there are a number of conventions being held and the constituents assemble 'under the radar'. It finally began to click as 'an official plot' when I was in search of a pair of scissors. Because scissors are such a useful tool, I have placed one in every room and occasionally there will be two...the second as back up pair [in the living room and kitchen.] Thus, when I was looking for a scissors and there was none in the living room, I went to the kitchen. There were none to be found in the kitchen. On to the bathroom...none...the dining room...none.

"There must be a scissors convention somewhere because there are none to be found. They have met together somewhere secretly because there isn't a one in plain sight anywhere!!"

The phrase kind of took off and seemed appropriate in other situations...pens! Regardless of the fact that there are probably two hundred fifty pens [ okay, a slight exaggeration] in various places all around the house, the fact remains that if I need one to jot a phone message or write a check...the only ones I can find are the ones that must have been denied admission to 'the pen convention' because they no longer work. And yes, I do throw them out when they become nonfunctional. Even in my pocketbook and in the car, there are either eleven lying around all over the place...or not a one working one. I have now tied one to the notebook where I record the names and phone numbers of people registering for the next driving class.

And now ...a drum roll please... the gold medal winners of the 'among the missing when you really need one' goes to ....the phones. If I had a nickel for every time that I have fished a phone from the 'underbelly of the sofa,' I'd be rich. And when they remain lost and in seclusion for too long, the batteries lose their charge and there's no audible help in locating exactly where the ringing is coming from. My former set of three portable phones became a set of two, and then the two remaining ones malfunctioned once too often to be reliable. I knew it was time to replace them. Trying to outsmart the 'phone convention', I changed brands and bought a package of four thinking there would always be a phone in each room. I realized I was in trouble when while sitting on the couch watching TV, I noticed that there were three phones on the end table next to me...THREE! A phone convention right under my nose! This was not good news.

There's my personal set of bronze, silver, and gold medal winners of ...Coincidental Conventions.. Band aids, phonebooks , and sunglasses get honorable mention.

What kind of conventions are happening in your world...now that you know they really do exist!

Do share! Misery loves company. I must have some kindred spirits who on occasion wonder if they are losing their marbles!!!

Losing your marbles???

Oh...Now I get it...there obviously must be a 'marble convention' somewhere!!

Whatever...

As 2010 becomes history, I am ready.

As each year's days count down to an end , I look forward to the new one.

Part of it has to be the closure of the 'holidaze' as I am one of many who has difficulty trying to muster up what spirit I don't have at this time of year. It feels similar to treading water. Or a treadmill.

I am aware of my many blessings.

It is what it is.

2011...another new beginning.

Bring it on.

Smiling Faces!

And a pleasant surprise, too!
This year's pleasant surprise was the fact that my ' fun' present to my son was so much fun for me. I watched his face change from 'what is this?' to 'this is so cool!' Enthusiastic and immediate. He had to check it out.
Wearable Rock!!
It was a [thinkgeek.com] interactive tee shirt with an electric guitar embedded within it, and AAA batteries that made the shirt 'a playable guitar'.
"Really!!??"
He put it on, played a few notes/chords, and grinned.
He asked me to take a picture that he posted on Facebook.
I absolutely love that pleasant surprise smiling face!
His surprise to me was 'A Little Security for the Holidays' which was a cozy 'Linus ' blanket. ' We do have a Charlie Brown connection from way back!! Loving it!! And it did manage to edge out the 'Mom Calendar' that he made from his photos from the year. A close second, but the Linus Security Blanket was so unexpected and unique...kind of like the 'electric guitar' shirt.
All totally trumped by 'Flo's 100th Christmas' and her smiling face that is most cherished!
And there you have it!

Yipes! The Scent of Stripes!!

I was watching Dr. Oz and he made the suggestion that we have candy canes on hand for medicinal purposes. Unwrap some peppermint, have a taste, but then inhale the peppermint aroma into your nose. Google 'scent of peppermint' and click on 'Discovery Health' and you may be surprised at all of the many good uses. Peppermint oil has no calories!!

I usually avoid '60 Minutes' because their reports are often about war, fraud, and other depressing topics. However, 'The Gift of Endless Memory' was the featured report on 60 Minutes, and it was fascinating. They interviewed five people who demonstrated this phenonenom, and you can watch it online. Go to CBS.com...click on 'shows' ...click on 60 Minutes...click on watch episodes. It is listed as Pt 1 [17min] and Part 2 [17 min], and the brain's possibilities will astound you.
And there you have it.

Grrr...Annoying

* Labels on clothing that scratch or itch...mostly on the back of your neck, but also in your underwear. I look for tagless everything, but it is not possible.

Then, the small hole that often is made from removing the irritable label...

*Commercials from the pharmaceutical market...whether it be the subject matter [both men's ED ads where the couple always ends up in separate bathtubs, or women's female products that show more than anyone needs to see.]

*Commercials that make you crazy by nature of the fact they are played way too many times...
*Commercials whose premise is tiring enough without making it a flippin' series..Geez! [Geicho lizard or the Cavemen, etc...]
*Bummer dreams relative to situations from long ago, or in which you are unable to make things work...like a phone.

*The evasive dancing abilities of a fruit fly, and how they make 'a clean getaway' more often than not...

*Millions of dollars of pork barrel insults in the 'hotly debated' pending tax reform law. Absolutely unnecessary, irrelevant earmarks that will be a part of the increase to the federal deficit that will then be labelled..'O'Bama's Tax Bill' . I don't care what your political persuasion may be, I find the whole thing disgusting. It's broke, and nobody wants to fix it when it will affect them in an 'other than good way.'

*Insensitive or judgemental people who don't consider their audience when commenting about their problems...

how they need to lose weight...in front of someone twice their size

how they are having a bad hair day in front of someone without manageable/ much/any hair

how they have to cutback on spending when the interest on their CD's is more than a salary

how they 'poo-poo' something[ like a certain TV show is far beneath their IQ sensibilities] when the other person may really enjoy it for whatever reasons they may have.]

*The situations where you are suggesting good ideas and solutions and you know right from the very moment that you open your mouth to begin...that the others are NOT listening or have already made up their mind about you and/or whatever it is.

*The fact that so many packages, boxes, jars, pills, etc are so hermetically sealed that you can't get them open without inflicting bodily harm.

* Not everyone wants to hear Christmas Music everywhere they go.

And there you have it. Sometimes you just have to get vocal about the stupid stuff.

The element of surprise!

Some people are hard to please, and others are easily amused.

There are folks who don't necessarily appreciate a joke, and lighthearted folk who are thankful for an occasion to leap for joy.

Time flies for some, and drags for others.
So...

I have been known to organize a lottery pool, plan a group visit to a comedy club, and arrange random reality shows' results into a chance to be the winner of 'the collective pot of gold'. I am always amazed by the participants who have no idea that they have won. You don't have to watch the show to know what's going on. The latest example of this would be "The Cookie Lady." She is a retired teacher from my district and it was in her classroom that I first substitute taught in NY as I tried to land a teaching job. There was a rocking chair in her fifth grade classroom and it added great warmth to the room. When I was hired, I followed her interior decorating idea by bringing in a couch for the kids to sit and relax as they read books when their work was done.

Now retired, she loves to bake and has shared many a confection with us. We call her 'The Cookie Lady' as a better way for my mom to remember who she is instead of using her name.

A member of the pools, I called her when the 'Dancing with the Stars Finale' included her person among the finalists to see if was going to watch, and then she promptly lost!! I figured maybe it was the kiss of death when I called her to ask if she was aware of her possible 'boatload of bucks.' So when 'The Apprentice' finale of two candidates again included her person, I did NOT call her to draw her attention to it. And she won!! The next day, I called her to say that I had made something for her since she had shared so many cupcakes and cookies with us.

"You didn't have to do that," but she then agreed to stop by on her way home.

I placed the $100 bill in a box with a picture of a cat on the cover, and handed it to her. When she opened it up, she flew out of the chair saying that she could not accept the money for her to get a cat.

"You won last night on The Apprentice! That's your prize money!"

She threw her hands in the air and jumped up and down ...the picture of joy!

An unexpected windfall...like an unplanned snowday of freedom.

Ya gotta love watching the smiles and finding the fun in surprise gifts...whatever they may be.

For my mom, when she falls asleep in her chair in the afternoon, she sometimes wakes up to discover a cookie on the arm of the chair. It causes a reaction similar to Columbus spotting land after many days at sea.

It's a mission that it is definitely worth the time and effort.

And there you have it!!!

Steel Magnolias Pt 2

It was karma. Unscripted, unedited, and utterly therapeutic. This morning's entertainment was a one of a kind , truly unique experience that most likely occurred because the planets lined up in some far out way. My hairdresser of 35+ years has also been my mom's 'wizard of choice' from the time that she began to visit me from out of state. It was often a source of amusement that her 300 mile trip to NY was for a perm...and, oh yeah..a visit to her daughter.

A surprise phone call offered up a hair appointment cancellation to give Flo her perm on Saturday at 10:45. The good people who bump her wheelchair up the 9 stairs to the second floor could be there...and St Nic was available to help transfer Mom from wheelchair to shampoo chair ..life was good. The weather was very cooperative. Also, I knew that my good friend [of 30 years] Cathy had an appointment for a color at 11:00. Things come in threes: Then the 10:00 appointment cancelled, and I was able to take it instead of my next Thursday time! We were the only people in the shop. The owner of the business had come to America from Italy aboard the AndreaDoria Ship when she was sixteen years old. She has worked since then, and owns the scissors [as well as the shop] that coifs the hair of many, many faithful customers.

She started with Flo, and while the perm was underway, she started my color. Then Cathy got there, and we were a rotation of three customers playing 'musical chairs' and laughing as the entertainment came from reminiscing about stories of longtime friends.

When the radio played the song, 'Let There Be Peace On Earth', I shared the story about making a tape of Mom's favorite songs. While taping this song, Cathy played the flute, and it was beautiful. I decided to add a personal touch and sang the words in the second verse. When the next to last line rose to a note that was out of my range, and I went for it anyway....and everything stopped except for the hysterical laughter that followed which remains indescribable.

The topic changed to Christmas trees, and the #1 story immediately surfaced. Cathy and I taught together, and as life played out, I became a single mom of one boy and she of her three boys. The kids were 10, 9, 6, and 3 and they all became brothers, friends, and family. We piled into the van in the pursuit of cutting down a Christmas tree while putting forth our best festive effort. As we entered the tree farm, on the very perimeter of the acres of trees, the three year old immediately embraced the first tree which can best be described as 'The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree'. It had about three branches and was the same height as this excited little three year old. This was the tree!! He cried and threw himself on the ground when the boys suggested that we continue to look at other trees. A favorable plan was hatched which allowed us to continue. It was a priceless moment that is told as often as The Charlie Brown Story.

Two hours flew by as our hair got shorter and our laugh lines got longer. It was the definition of a good time. Relaxing and fun.

You couldn't plan something like that as it was many years in the making.

We had all came from different places with an age span that ranged from age 27 to 99 years old. It was great!

The Newest Safety Seat Belts

The Latest Seat Belts Proven To Reduce Accidents!!!

With another Safe Driving class wrapped up and in the record book, hopefully there are now another 20 people with a renewed perspective about the road. Each time a group of 55+ year old folks get together, there are generally some laughs along with the safety discussions.

An example of this would be the suggested new design for seat belts. We had been talking about the vision and hearing changes that naturally occur as one ages. When asked if they ever 'don't hear' someone talking to them, a deep burly voice resonated,

"Only when it's my wife!!"

She was sitting right next to him and probably laughed the loudest of all of us.

The class was at a new location for me and it was almost perfection! My local church agreed to host the session, and we had a [former] classroom that was set up with tables, chairs, and a TV/VCR. Similar to the picture, one side was half window straight to the ceiling, and the 'postcard-type' snow that was happening outside was absolutely beautiful. And it was toasty warm, too!

So, what kept it from being perfect?

Well, every once in a while, the heating system would replenish the water going through the system, and it produced a sound similar to a boot kicking a metal radiator cover. It wasn't so much loud as it was unpredictable. About the third time it happened, it kind of naturally occurred right after I had finished making a point. [Cue: Bang!] And a woman voiced,

"Exclamation Point!!"

Some holiday cookies and snacks were brought in and shared on the second day. People were smiling and seemed to enjoy the whole experience as a group of friends. The comedian was in the back on the right side, and entertained us with some witty remarks. We were discussing the importance of leaving some space in front of you as you come to a red light or stop sign, and glancing in the rear view mirror to be sure that the car/truck behind you was really stopping also. That way, if you need to inch up to give them some space, you would have that option. A woman asked,

"What should you do if you see that they are not going to stop?"

Without missing a beat, the answer from the back advised,

"Hold on !!"

And that became the answer to all the questions after that, along with

"Exclamation Point!"

My personal version of the course evaluation is to hand out a half sheet of note paper and ask them to share with me if they found out something that they didn't already know, and/or would there be something that they would do differently as a result of our discussions. Responses included the usual ones of :

I will put a throw-away camera in the glove box.

I will be a more patient driver, and when the light turns green, I will 'look to the left' to make sure that someone is not trying to beat out the yellow light. [And hit me broadside!]

I feel more respectful of big trucks, their blind spots, and their inability to stop as fast as a car.

When making a left turn, I will keep the wheels straight until I actually begin the turn by stepping on the gas.

I will get OFF of the road to use my cell phone because there are no 'do-overs' with crashes.

One woman wrote that she had not taken any kind of driver training in 43 years, and that she didn't realize how much she needed to know. And that the teacher was 'quick, thorough, considerate, and charming!!'

I love the fact that maybe someone will slow down, and smell the roses a bit more. We do not need to be in such a hurry at all times.

And there you have it.