Part One: Will the real horse's ass please stand up?
Long, long time ago
I can still remember [Are you singing 'American Pie'?]
Actually, in a former life of mine...early twenties...my good friend decided that we should go horseback riding. I was not thrilled about this, as I inherited the 'horse bit my foot' gene from my mother. But Janet managed to talk me into it, thus beginning my saga of horse stories.
We went to a place where a guide would lead the way for an hour at a reasonable rate[$$]. Hesitant at best, I requested the oldest horse of the herd. I did not want to be scared to death, and maybe an old mare[!] wouldn't be able to sense my fear. I had to stand on a bench to reach the stirrup and jump into the saddle. A young teenager began leading us along a pathway through the woods. After a little while when I began to breathe, the up and down bouncing became relatively normal and I relaxed a bit and decided that horseback riding might even be fun. As we came into a clearing, the guide realized we were close in proximity to where her boyfriend lived. What a surprise! She just wanted to say hello, and so we trotted over to his house where the leader of the pack laughed and chatted while Janet on her horse... and I on the old grey mare... rested for a moment.
All of a sudden, our host looks at her watch and yells out," Oh my God! We're going to be late! And I'm going to be in big trouble!! Giddy-up!!"
She takes off in a gallop, and Janet's horse immediately follows, and I found myself following along at a pace that quite frankly surprised me. After all, I did ask for the old and tired one!
And then it happened so fast... in the blink of an eye...as we followed the two galloping horses in a major hurry...eyes focused straight ahead...never saw the downed tree trunk laying across the path... and the horse went down...and I went UP... and landed in a tree!
Whoa! I should've yelled "!Whoa!"
Not 30 seconds later, Janet comes back after realizing that I am no longer following her...[like I had a choice??], and sees me rejoining the ground from the tree, and says...
"Get back on the horse."
"I don't think so..."
"You know what they say...You have to get right back on the horse."
"I can't reach the horse...even if I wanted to!"
Janet dismounts and clasps her two hands together to give me a stepping boost, and I did get back on that old grey mare...promising myself that it would be a cold day in hell before I do the horseback riding thing again.
We arrive back where we began, relinquish the horses, and Janet says..."Fun? So, would you go again some other time!"
" Oh yeah! On a cold day in hell!"
I can still remember [Are you singing 'American Pie'?]
Actually, in a former life of mine...early twenties...my good friend decided that we should go horseback riding. I was not thrilled about this, as I inherited the 'horse bit my foot' gene from my mother. But Janet managed to talk me into it, thus beginning my saga of horse stories.
We went to a place where a guide would lead the way for an hour at a reasonable rate[$$]. Hesitant at best, I requested the oldest horse of the herd. I did not want to be scared to death, and maybe an old mare[!] wouldn't be able to sense my fear. I had to stand on a bench to reach the stirrup and jump into the saddle. A young teenager began leading us along a pathway through the woods. After a little while when I began to breathe, the up and down bouncing became relatively normal and I relaxed a bit and decided that horseback riding might even be fun. As we came into a clearing, the guide realized we were close in proximity to where her boyfriend lived. What a surprise! She just wanted to say hello, and so we trotted over to his house where the leader of the pack laughed and chatted while Janet on her horse... and I on the old grey mare... rested for a moment.
All of a sudden, our host looks at her watch and yells out," Oh my God! We're going to be late! And I'm going to be in big trouble!! Giddy-up!!"
She takes off in a gallop, and Janet's horse immediately follows, and I found myself following along at a pace that quite frankly surprised me. After all, I did ask for the old and tired one!
And then it happened so fast... in the blink of an eye...as we followed the two galloping horses in a major hurry...eyes focused straight ahead...never saw the downed tree trunk laying across the path... and the horse went down...and I went UP... and landed in a tree!
Whoa! I should've yelled "!Whoa!"
Not 30 seconds later, Janet comes back after realizing that I am no longer following her...[like I had a choice??], and sees me rejoining the ground from the tree, and says...
"Get back on the horse."
"I don't think so..."
"You know what they say...You have to get right back on the horse."
"I can't reach the horse...even if I wanted to!"
Janet dismounts and clasps her two hands together to give me a stepping boost, and I did get back on that old grey mare...promising myself that it would be a cold day in hell before I do the horseback riding thing again.
We arrive back where we began, relinquish the horses, and Janet says..."Fun? So, would you go again some other time!"
" Oh yeah! On a cold day in hell!"
posted by Mare at
1:29 PM
3 Comments:
Mare, I'm sad your first experience didn't turn out well. I grew up on horses and, yes, I've been dumped (but it was when I was adult and should have known better with a skittish mare).
It sounds as if your biggest problem was a teenage guide. Those raging hormones are seldom helpful. I'm glad you came out of that experience in one piece and feisty.
By
Jo, a retired teacher, At
August 24, 2008 at 3:41 PM
love the horse bit my foot gene. i'm not fond of horses either but have ridden them a few times.
By
Great Grandma Lin, At
August 24, 2008 at 5:28 PM
You landed in a tree? Good gosh!
This sounds rather too much like my camel ride experience. No tree though.
By
Kay, At
August 25, 2008 at 12:40 PM
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