How Do You Spell...Adrenalin?

Unbelievable..

followed by something even more unbelievable.

and then the most unbelievable of all!!!

Are you ready?

To truly appreciate this true story to the fullest, it must be said that my body is not typically flexible [ especially my fingers] due to some major effects of my arthritis. Those who know me will totally understand.
My brother is visiting for the weekend. I kept my regular volunteering schedule because I figured that he and Flo [our mom] could spend some quality time together...and besides, Flo's magnificent caretaker was there to attend to Mom's needs.

I had to stop at the bank on the way home and access the ATM machine.
ATM card in hand, I drove alongside the ATM machine, and began to follow the prompts. PIN number...enter...withdrawal...checking...amount...

Do you want a receipt? Yes...

The audible sound of money cascading into place was followed by 'Please take your cash'.

The little doors popped open, and I reached for the cash.

I pulled on the cash, and out it came...but not all of it. Half of it hadn't cleared the ledge and was sitting there about a quarter of an inch below the opening.

What?? AHHH!! Hey!!!

Now...my hands are not what you would call flat. Imagine the itsy -bitsy spider trying to climb into a very narrow space. The closest I could get was to the corner edge of the cash, and I managed to grasp one $20 out leaving a whole lot more. I opened my car door in an effort to get closer to it as I tried to remove the rest of my cash withdrawal.

SNAP!! The little doors snapped shut ON MY FINGERS THAT WERE STILL IN THERE!!!

Oh ...my...OMG!!

The screen now read: Do you want another transaction?

Well, hell yeah! But first I would like to finish the first one!!!

Thinking that the car behind me was going to get a couple of hundred dollars more than he asked for, [my couple of hundred dollars left sitting on the shelf], it seemed logical to request another transaction to see if the rest of my cash was still there.

Yes...withdrawal...checking...$20...thump.

Those finger slapping little doors opened again to reveal one lonely twenty dollar bill.

At this point, there is smoke firing out of my ears because I couldn't believe it and I had no idea what to do or who to call.

I circled around and drove into the drive- thru lane that had a live person there awaiting her next customer. Two buttons: Service and Call

I pushed the call button, and the teller's calm voice says, "Can I help you?"

So I began my tale of woe about the ATM machine swallowing up half of my cash withdrawal and then clamping down on my finger.

"What can I do?"

And here is the 'even more unbelievable thing':

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. But we have nothing to do with the ATM machine at all. You will have to call the 1-800 number on the back of your card and explain it to them."

"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously!!!

"Yes I am."

Now I circled back into the parking lot, yanked my cell phone out of my pocket, and punched in the 1-800 number on the back.

Not only is there an automatic voice selection of 'Press one for this' and 'press two' for that, but everything...and I mean every single word ...was in Spanish!!

Thinking that I will get to press something for English, and after about six sentences that I did not have a clue about, I looked on the back of the card. In my hysterical state, I had dialed the Spanish help line. That was not progress. The only thing I know in Spanish is: Donde el banyo? This translates to: Where is the bathroom?

There was a different 1-800 # for English. I started all over again only to have to endure a voice tell me:

"Okay. Let me ask a few questions to help forward your call. Are you calling about a paper transaction, press one or you may speak the words 'paper transaction'. Summoning all of my self control to suppress what I really wanted to say, I pushed a 4 and answered the prompt:

"In a few words, what is your call in reference to?"

"The ATM machine ate half of my withdrawal!!!"

"One moment please while I connect you to a customer service representative."

"This is Bryan. Can I please have your social security or account number, your name, address, birth date, and favorite flavor of ice cream [kidding about the ice cream!}? Okay, how can I help you?"

I went through the whole saga again thinking to myself that there was no way in hell that this was going to be resolved by Bryan.

And here is the most unbelievable part:

First, Bryan apologized for the machine malfunction, as well as the injury that it had inflicted on my finger. [Badddd machine!] Then he said that most likely the machine would....self-correct...at the end of the day...and it would credit my account with the amount that it had in excess.

I ask, "How on earth does the ATM machine know whose account should be credited and adjusted to the actual amount really received?"

"Technology. Amazing isn't it? Tomorrow morning, call the bank to make sure that your account has been adjusted and if it has not, call us back and we will take care of it. "

Now, I know that I am not in Kansas anymore!!

Can you believe it? I am speechless and stuttering!

If this whole situation [that would be my very last and final ATM experience] isn't resolved, and the ATM machine's video of my encounter as it snapped shut on my finger while swallowing more than half of my withdrawal...appears on 'You Tube', you will understand what really happened. And would you please contribute to the fund to bail me out of jail after I let that ATM machine know how I really feel about being treated like that...such an injustice!

I'll keep you posted...in case my bail needs to be posted!!