Speed it up!!

I've had a request from my friend, Steve, about my blog:

"So, when are you going to tell the story about the ski lift?"

To get to Steve's reference, I should tell about the two ski resort experiences prior to his favorite ski lift memory.

#1: When I was in my early 20's, a friend of my brother's was going skiing for the day and asked me to join him.

"I have never been skiing, and don't have any of the equipment/gear to go with you."

"No problem. You can rent all of the ski stuff, and it's easy to learn."

What the heck! [I thought] We went to the mountain[!!], rented the equipment, and bought a one day lift pass. As we are in motion on the way up, I asked, "When the lift stops, which way are we turning?"

"The lift doesn't stop; you ski off of it."

Well, of course you do...what was I thinking? Just because I had never skied didn't mean that disaster was looming at the top of the hill! [How stupid was I!!!]

It took me a while [3 hours] to get down the hill. I asked to ski at my own pace...learn how to stop without just sitting down, and wanted to be miserable all by myself. It was a very frustrating experience for half of the day, and the other half was better. I got the hang of it enough to enjoy the sport. But I think I vowed not to go again.

#2: I think that it was my last year in college that about 5 of my friends wanted to go to Hunter Mountain for the weekend. If I didn't want to ski, I could hang out in the ski lodge, meet people, etc. There were many activities going on that weekend. I had one problem to fix before going. Since I had just finished a course of antibiotics, I managed to get a yeast infection. In the 70's, you couldn't buy the over the counter appropriate medicine, but somehow I managed to get a Friday afternoon doctor appointment along with a prescription to make things right. As my friends picked me up, I told them that I needed to have this prescription filled to take with me.

Then I heard,"Let's get on the road and get the prescription filled when we get there." OK.

Can you guess what's coming next?? There was no drug store in Hunter Mountain.

What could possibly make things worse??...a blizzard so encompassing that we were snowed in the cabin and could not make our way anywhere! for anything! skiing, food, NOTHING !
And let me add that each bed was allotted one blanket. So, there I was...snowed into a cabin with 5 of my friends...freezing...with no where to go ...and the added joy of an untreated yeast infection! Probably this experience was the one where I learned to never, ever, ask the question, "What else could happen?" or "What could be worse than this?"

#3: ok...first time, I skied a bit, second time...snowed in and not able to even go to the ski lodge if I even wanted to ski. The third time...was at a ski/golf resort depending upon the season. About twenty of my fellow school colleagues were at 'Curriculum Camp' in the first week of July.

From Sunday at 4 PM until Friday at 4 PM, it was an intense educational experience that was very scheduled. As a matter of fact, we had a couple of hours on Wednesday afternoon that was our only free time. You could go golfing [at this resort], shopping, whatever...and they fired up the chairlift for rides for anyone who wanted to go. The non golfers decided to go for a ride, and two by two, we got on the chairlift with some empty seats between us, probably to even things out I guess. It started out just fine. It was beautiful scenery, a beautiful day, and as we went up and then back down, we got to smile and wave to our friends. Pam and I [going up] shouted out to Steve and Dean [coming down] and Diane was right behind us. Kind of fun. And then, all of a sudden, the speed of the chairlift was noticeably faster. We were zipping along at a record pace and so was my heart rate! Evidently, Steve had given the 'Wizard of Oz' [the man behind the control window] the hand signal to...S P E E D I T U P ! And he did. And I was in altered states of fear! What, oh what, could possibly make this situation worse?? I did not voice that question, but we found out anyway. Suddenly, in the middle of the ascent to the top...the entire chairlift came to a sudden stop. Well, not exactly! You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that the chairs would swing in a 'back and forth...back and forth...' motion. Holy ****!

And then there was prayer on the mountain as my "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph " rang out and my eyes closed [to block out the scary sight of swaying mid-air].

I had exceeded my capacity for fun.

And Pam stood up at my retirement dinner and told everyone, "I didn't realize how religious Mare was until curriculum camp when her 'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph' echoed back from the mountainside."

And no, there will be no more ski lifts or skiing in my future.

So, there you have it. There were tears of laughter rolling down Steve's face. Uncontrollable laughter. Which, by the way, is one of my favorite things....uncontrollable laughter.

It doesn't get any better than that.