What a Hoot!!

Grab a soda...or cup of tea...

This is a long story...a very funny, creative, true story. It recounts the adventures of Lucy[me] and Ethel [a great friend]. It all started quite innocently, and I would never have imagined the twists and turns that were to come....

One Spring day, circa 1990, I came home from work and found a plastic white owl lawn ornament stuck in the ground outside my front door. I didn't know who put it there, who owned it, or the story behind it. I did know that it wasn't going to stay there. I have no idea what possessed me to pick up the owl and place it in front of the arborvitae bush outside Ethel's door. We carpooled together, and were family, so to speak. [My son and I had been adopted into her family and spent most holidays with them]. Three days went by, and nothing was said. Standing in the school's office, I hinted at, "So, anything new or unusual happening in your little corner of the world?"
Wide-eyed, she shouts out, "It was you? You did it? And I've been bugging my daughter about it because she knows how I feel about lawn ornaments. And it was YOU!!"

We laughed about it, both of us known to orchestrate a practical joke or two.

School recessed for the summer. My son [age 9] and I went to New Jersey to visit my mom [Flo] and other relatives to relax, unwind from the school year, and celebrate our birthdays. I was sitting in the den with Flo when a package was delivered for me. The writing was clearly my NJ friend[from high school] and it was from a store with the word 'crystal' in it. A birthday present! I cut through the tape and unwrapped the bundled...OWL... sent from New York! I was surprised to say the least! I called Ethel on the phone, and wailed, "I cannot believe that you did that!! The laughter was loud, hearty, and bordered on cackling!! Alrighty then...

My mom kind of liked the owl and he graced her front bushes for a couple of weeks. I had a postcard of an owl with a couple of baby owls. Another good friend of mine was going on a cruise and mailed the postcard from a Caribbean port. It said, "Vacationing for a bit...having fun...met the female of my dreams...started a family...Hope all is well. Signed: Hoot"

The owl was forevermore named, "Hoot" and has traveled back and forth between the two of us for more than 20 years.

I brought Hoot back to New York, and when Ethel wasn't home, I put him in the wheelbarrow of dirt by the side of her house. And I waited for the phone call telling me, "My garden trowel hit something hard as I was planting flowers. I thought...what the heck is that? Imagine my surprise to find that owl buried in the dirt!! A level of surprise equal to Hoot arriving in NJ via UPS!" It was priceless! I wish I had seen her face!!

In December, I came home from Christmas shopping to find Hoot on the ledge above my garage doors. Ethel had to stand on her car to get Hoot up there! My response..."Oh my God...look where the owl is now!!" I got him down and held onto him for a span so that the surprise would be a bigger one given that Hoot had been forgotten about for a bit.

At a regular card party hosted at her house, I entered Ethel's foyer and could hear her in the kitchen talking with the other card players. Out from within a canvas bag, I stuffed Hoot into the right side of her buffet. It took quite a while to get the call...

"Well, guess what? I went to change pocketbooks and when I looked in the buffet...there was the stupid owl! How long has he been there?...' cause I rarely open that side of the buffet."

The key to surprise became to hold onto the owl for a while for the element of surprise. There would be times when one of us would ask the other..."Whose possession would Hoot be in right now?" Right now, I think that I may be in possession of the owl, but haven't found him...wherever he is hidden.

In 2001, nine members of my family went to Ireland together and we met at Newark Airport for the plane's departure. I traveled to NJ and spent the night before the flight at my high school friend's house. We were sitting in the living room talking for a bit, when out of the corner of my eye...sitting on the end table was Hoot with an Irish flag taped to his body!!

I think my next move was to put Hoot in the trunk of her car, and he was found much faster than other moves. In always trying to do something new or unusual, I had already decided what I was going to do next. Clothes! Never been done before! But before I got to do that, as I approached my porch door, there was Hoot with a straw hat and skirt looking out the front window! Damn! Damn! Damn!

At the end of the school year, my students and the other 3 rooms of 5th graders and their teachers went on a field trip. One year it was to a science museum with an IMAX Theater. Absolutely great. I was monitoring the kids in the gift shop when I noticed a white baby fuzzy owl and my next plan was hatched!! The baby owl went home with me as I contemplated how/where to have Hoot surface with child!! The basketball hoop in her backyard! Yes! My brother and niece visited in late August to go to the New York State Fair. While they were here, I purchased an empty hanging basket with an earthen woven type lining and put Hoot and the baby in the nest. Then when Ethel wasn't home, my niece shimmied up the basketball hoop stand and placed the nest and its occupants into the basketball net. This was so much fun...sneaking into her backyard, and planting that migrating [!] owl. The next day we came home from an outing and the answering machine was blinking, "Message". I pressed the button and heard:" Well I see that the owl has returned and that now she has had a baby, too. The slut!"

This owl thing has been a Hoot!

September came and a new school year began. I think it might have been Day #2 and I was explaining the rules and procedures to my new class. In the middle of a sentence, I glanced over at the classroom door which was closed and there was a poster sized print of Hoot taped to the back of my door! "O my gosh!" and the kids all looked at the poster. I buzzed the office [Ethel is the school secretary] and after her "Can I help you?" ,

I answered with..."You Bozo!!" There is a poster sized photo of the owl and I just found it taped to the back of my door!"

"The-e-re is what? I don't know what you're talking about!!"

Can you believe this??

I was now in the possession of the owl. That Christmas, all of her family, 5 adult kids and [some] spouses and their children, Ethel's mother, my son, and I were all together celebrating the season. Each person unwrapped a gift, and ...yes..you probably guessed it. She opened her gift of a bottle of Baileys Irish Creme, and there in the box was another gift still wrapped in tissue paper...the owl!! Wahoo!! Hoot had become a topic of discussion among both families and her mother was so happy to be a witness to a stealth appearance! What fun!!

2004 rolled around and I retired in June. There was a wonderful party with my colleagues and family at a restaurant in town. As I approached the room , I heard people talking and laughing. At the threshhold of the door, there was Hoot perched atop a traffic signal [plastic bank]and around his neck was a sign that said: Mare's Party! We had everyone laughing as I explained how this owl which I found on my front lawn had traveled back and forth for 20 years. And so many different ways/means of capturing the element of surprise.

Last : When Ethel went to Montana to visit her son and family, I had mailed Hoot ahead of her so that she would would be surprised in the middle of a sentence... and see that white plastic owl lawn ornament looking at her...from all the way across the country.

In theory, at the moment, Ethel is in possession of the owl. But it has been more than a year, so I may be in possession of that Hoot owl...I just haven't stumbled upon him yet!!

PS I forgot about the time I went on an Alaskan cruise and in a gift shop in Katchican, I was trying to spend $20 because you got a canvas bag with a cruiseship holigram on the front. I thought, "This will be easy to do!" WRONG! I could hardly find anything I wanted, and then I saw a 'message in a bottle' kit' and Bingo...it was like... this is great!

I need to tell you first that we had gone to see the movie 'Message in a Bottle' and HATED it!

We would joke about it, thinking it was the worst movie made...long, boring, etc.

That being said, when I got home, I made a Xerox picture of Hoot, rolled up the paper, and stuffed it in the blue bottle. I put it in the envelope that came with it. A double HA-HA!

A message in a bottle delivered and when she managed to get the rolled up paper out...it was a message from Hoot! Sometimes it is the silly things that bring the best laughter.