Hard Hearted Hannah...

At the time, we called her.... "Hard Hearted Hannah!"

If you sent someone to see her, they had better be sick! Or else you had to deal with HHH.

Who was that cold, inquisitive person who was in charge of everyone's health issues??

She was 'da school nerdtz' as one younger kid referred to her...not out of disrespect; it was the child's normal speech pattern. But it kinda stuck, and people would kid her every once in a while saying , "So how's the school nerdtz doing today? To know her is to admire and respect her. She is retired now, after many years of fielding the many, various, and unusual attempts at having a good reason to lie down in the nurse's office.

Kid: I don't feel very good.

HHH: Oh, what's going on? Where is your class right now?

Kid: In gym class.

HHH: So, what's happening there?
Kid: Square dancing[ No. 1 answer]...Or 'the mile run'[No. 2 answer]...

HHH: I think you'll be just fine.

HHH: What's the matter , dear?

Kid: I think I'm sick.

HHH: I'm sorry to hear that. Did you feel that way before school this morning?

Kid: Nah, it just kind came over me.

HHH: What are the other kids in your homeroom doing right now?

Kid: They're taking a Social Studies test.

HHH: Well, go back and give it a try. I think you'll be just fine.

Kid: I feel like I'm going to throw up!
HHH: Where are you coming from...where's the rest of your class?

Kid: They are outside at recess after lunch. I was there, too. And then I felt sick.

HHH: What were you doing right before you began to feel sick?

Kid: I was twirling round and round on the tire swing!! And the other two kids wouldn't stop it.

HHH: And you didn't think that spinning on the tire swing right after lunch might make you dizzy...or sick to your stomach?

Kid: I had waited in line to get on it.

HHH:And so, what did you learn from this?

Most kids knew that the nurse HATED that [damned] tire swing, and wouldn't have mentioned it as the cause of the sickness!!!

Kids who were genuinely ill received excellent care.

The reason that all of this comes to mind is that she had returned my phone call about the gathering next week for lunch, and it was delivered in a manner similar to my song on her answering machine! My invitation was to the tune of, 'Camp Grenada'. [Hello mudder...hello fadder...here I am at camp Grenada.]

Her response was sung to the tune of 'Hello Dolly' and was indeed a very clever verse that she had crafted to tell me that she would see me at the luncheon. Her given nickname for me was "PT" which stood for 'paranoid twerp', a name for which I cannot remember its origin!!

And so her song began, "Hello, PT...well Hello PT...

Over the years, we've enjoyed a great professional relationship along with an occasional practical joke for some laughter. I would send in my morning attendance in picture form being the right brained person that I am. A child named 'Courtney' would have a tennis court and net with a kid standing next to it with an arrow pointing to her knee. If the last name was a noun that could be illustrated, I really enjoyed the challenge. And then one day, I received a letter in my school mailbox from 'The State Education Department' about my attendance procedures and the need to correctly document it !!! It was from... Hard Hearted Hannah...of course!! She even saved a couple of them as a part of her retirement speech as she roasted many of her colleagues. We, however, had the last laugh at her retirement party.
Do you remember the commercial for the 'ten o'clock morning break' where the office women assembled by the window to watch the soda delivery man 'chug' his soda?

Well, the Pepsi Man who delivered the canned soda for the soda machine in the faculty room was a great guy who was also 'easy on the eyes.' Our much loved secretary would give us a 'Heads Up' by way of the intercom when he approached the building. She also sent the word to our favorite nurse, HHH, as she was a big fan. What a good sport he was when he agreed to personally deliver his six pack [of Pepsi]!!! to the head table of her party along with a friendly peck on the cheek. She was so surprised, and the laughter was the best.

On Wednesday, the laughter will resume as HHH and PT are among about 20-25 retired friends...to reminisce about the fun...planned or happenstance...that at one time had us joined as a family. It will be a grand event...as long as no one mentions that dreaded tire swing !